All or Nothing
by LoveandLearn
Summary: Derek and Addison had a daughter early in their relationship forcing them to split attention between their education, their careers and their family. They never realized that 14 years later they'd be in a struggling marriage with a daughter who wants nothing to do with them and a son who is too young understand what was going on.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

"I'm pregnant, Derek," She mumbled quietly without being able to meet his eyes.

Derek's jaw dropped. His 21-year-old girlfriend of three months was pregnant. They were barely halfway through their first semester of medical school. They had worked their entire lives; skipped grades, taken college classes in high school and overloaded a few semesters in college to graduate early. He was only 22 and barely able to take care of himself. His heart was pounding and his head was spinning. He had no idea what to say.

"I scheduled an abortion," she continued. "I didn't want to go in and have it done without talking to you."

Derek nodded, "Good, that's good," he mumbled in a shaky voice. "Oh! It's not good that you scheduled an abortion! Wait, no, it's not bad. Uh, it's not good or bad! I just said good meaning I'm glad you told me. I uh, I wouldn't want you to do that alone. If an abortion is what you want then I'll support you."

A week later he drove her to a clinic and held her hand as she laid on the examination table with her legs in stirrups. He could practically see her heart beating out of her chest and the only thing he could do was hold her hand and tell her everything would be okay. She ended up stopping the procedure before it ever started.

"I can't do this," she whispered, sitting up on the table and looking him in the eyes. She couldn't maintain eye contact for too long before she dropped her head on his shoulder and started sobbing.

Derek put his arms around her and soothingly rubbed her back. "It's okay, it's okay…" he repeated softly. "We'll figure it out, okay?"

Addison sniffled and straightened up, "I love you, Derek. I didn't want the first I love you to come in an abortion clinic but…" she trailed off. "I can't go through with this because we made this baby together. It is a part of me and it is a part of you."

Derek nodded understandingly and kissed her head, "If you want to keep it then we can keep it."

"We can't keep it. What about med school?"

"We'll figure it out," Derek insisted.

"Maybe we can do an open adoption. We'll still be able to have contact with the baby but we won't have to quit school to raise a child full-time."

Derek nodded again, "We can look into that," he replied. "First let's get you dressed and get home," he said softly, reaching up to her face to wipe away a tear off her cheek with his thumb.

They chose a family to adopt their baby five months into the pregnancy. Two weeks before the due date they backed out of the adoption and opted to keep their daughter. It wasn't easy for either of them. They alternated attendance in classes and swapped notes. Derek's mother would take their daughter, Adrianne, during clinical rotations and test days. True to Derek's word, they made it work. It was difficult but they found a way.

Derek proposed to Addison during their final week of medical school. They got married right after graduating. Taking the unconventional route, Derek and Addison decided to take their three and a half year old daughter on their honeymoon with them. They both knew that they wouldn't have too much time to spend with her after starting their surgical internships and they wanted to have as much time with her as possible before that. Ten days with no interruptions with their daughter; it was everything they could have ever wanted. After returning to New York Adrianne went to live with Derek's mother. It was the only way they'd be to make sure their daughter was well cared for while they worked a minimum of 80 hours weekly.

"You'll come home on some weekends and we'll spend every day we have off with you, sweetie," Addison promised, crouched down in front of her three and a half year old daughter. "And after daddy and I finish our intern year we'll go on vacation again? Somewhere just as cool as Tahiti okay? You'll spend the whole day on the beach or by the pools again. We just have to get through this year."

Adrianne nodded her head. "Okay," she whispered.

"We'll visit you and you'll come home. We'll call you all the time. You won't even have time to miss us," Derek promised as lifted his little girl and cuddled her closely. "We love you, sweetheart. We want to make sure you're well taken care of while we're at work. Do you understand?"

Adrianne nodded again, "Love you, too," she mumbled. "Daddy, can I go play now?"

As promised, a year later the family of three celebrated the end of intern year with a trip to Barbados. However, that did not mark the end of Adrianne's living situation. She ended up staying for eight years while her parents worked on their residencies and started their fellowships. They dedicated every free minute they had to her. They would arrange visits on any and all days off, they would call her every night before bed to hear about her day. At some point during those eight years Adrianne grew distant and less interested with her parents. It wasn't that she felt neglected, unloved or forgotten; she just didn't care to put in the effort anymore. She'd put up with occasional phone calls and she'd only see them from one holiday to the next. She didn't care to spend their every off day with them anymore. The arrangement was bearable and easy enough until Adrianne received the game changing news.

"You're pregnant?!" she yelled in disbelief over lunch with her parents.

"Lower your voice, please," Addison replied softly.

"You're a gynecologist! You're not supposed to get pregnant."

"Gynecologists don't sign a clause renouncing their right to procreate," Addison informed her daughter.

"I meant that you're supposed to know enough to know how to prevent an unwanted pregnancy."

"It is not an unwanted pregnancy. Your mother and I had been trying for 2 months. This is a planned and very wanted pregnancy." Derek intercepted.

"You can't even keep up with one kid! Are you going to leave this one with grandma too?"

"Adrianne, you're eleven years old, you are much too young to understand this. Don't talk to your mother that way," Derek scolded. "And you need to hear us out before making comments. We will not be leaving the baby with grandma. The baby will live with us and so will you. You can move back home at the end of the school year in a few weeks."

Adrianne stared at her parents in shock.

"Our fellowships are stressful but not nearly as stressful as residency. We have more time at home now and we want to shift our focus from our careers to our family."

"I don't want to live with your guys and I don't want a sibling."

Addison sighed heavily and turned her head to look at Derek. "This went well," she whispered.

"I wanna go home," she told her parents after a few moments of awkward silence.

That was the end of any form of functional relationship between Adrianne and her parents. After her brother was born she refused to go see him and ignored all phone calls from her parents. She wouldn't associate with her younger brother when they came to visit on occasional holidays. At family gatherings she would act like her parents were not there; she wouldn't look at them and she would not respond to anything they said.

"A," the toddler said, pulling on the hem of her shirt for her attention.

Adrianne pulled her shirt out of his grasp and took a step away from him.

Seeing the harsh response to her son, Addison moved toward her children and lifted the two year old into her arms. She saw Adrianne stiffen as she walked over and was surprised that she didn't turn to walk away. "Dylan has been hoping to get a picture with you. He wanted to take you for show and tell but we obviously can't do that so he agreed to settle for a picture," she explained.

Adrianne did not look her in the eye as she spoke, she kept her eyes on the ground. As soon as Addison was done speaking Adrianne shook her head and walked away.

Addison looked at the disappointment and confusion on her son's face and sighed heavily. She gently kissed his temple and hugged him tighter. "Its okay," she said softly.

"I want Daddy." he mumbled, dropping her head on his mother's shoulder.

Addison rubbed his back soothingly. "Honey, daddy is at work," Addison reminded her son.

"Daddy's always at work," he complained. "Can we go home?"

* * *

><p>"Adrianne," Addison sighed into the phone tiredly. "Honey, please, I'm not in the mood for the silent treatment right now. I have to talk to you about something important. Your father left me," she said bluntly. "And um, I guess what I'm trying to say is that we're not longer together. If it was one of us that you wanted nothing to do with but you felt fine with the other than you can reach out and build a relationship now. No matter what happens to our relationship it doesn't change the fact that we love you and your brother."<p>

"It was both of you. I don't want anything to do with either of you."

"Oh…" Addison sighed heavily. This was the most her daughter had said to her in years. It was a question that she had been asking herself for years and now she finally knew the answer.

"I'm kind of surprised he left you. But I'm also not surprised at all," Adrianne continued. "I mean, anyone with eyes knows that he hasn't been around for a while so there was obviously trouble so it's not so surprising if you think about it that way. On the other hand, you guys are both so much a like that I thought you understood one another and got along."

"I cheated on him," Addison mumbled quietly into the phone. "He left me because he caught me with someone else."

Adrianne laughed loudly, "You are unbelievable," she said before hanging up the phone.

* * *

><p>Three year old Dylan sat across from his sister in a restaurant. He had never really spent time with her and she never spoke to him when he was around so it was awkward and uncomfortable. He stared at his unfamiliar sibling to study her features and all she did was glare back at him every once in a while.<p>

"Why are you forcing me to have lunch with you?" Adrianne finally worked up the nerve to ask. "I didn't really like you before but now that you're an adulterous whore you think our relationship will change?"

Addison's eyes widened as she met her daughter's almost identical ones, her jaw dropped as the insult left her daughter's mouth. "You are fourteen years old. You might not like me but you have no right to speak to me that way," she scolded. "I didn't have the best relationship with my mother but I'd never dare speak to her that way."

"Trust me, you like your mother more than I like you," Adrianne shot back.

"I wanted to have lunch with you because I wanted to tell you in person that we are moving to Seattle to be with your dad."

"He took you back? You cheated and he took you back?"

"Yes," Addison replied with a nod. "Like you said, we're so much alike and so messed up that we're kind of bound for life. I was in Seattle for a case and I gave him divorce papers but he didn't sign. He wasn't sure that ending our marriage was the right way to handle our issues and I agree. He cheated too. I guess we're even now and we can put our indiscretions behind us and move on."

"And you forgive him?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Yes, you have a choice!" Adrianne snapped. "You don't have to forgive him. For once in your life you can do the right thing and just walk away from the marriage. He cheated on you. You cheated on him. Does that sounds like a loving, committed marriage that's built to last until death do you part? No!"

"I love him."

Adrianne groaned in response to her mother's words, "Fine, move to Seattle and forgive one another. You'll fight and have make-up sex then you'll get pregnant and it'll be a perfect baby to complete your messed up family and you'll live happily ever after."

"We're not going to have anymore children, Adrianne. We only wanted two and we have two," Addison reassured. "Anyway, our family is not complete with you living somewhere else. Your dad and I have been talking and we want to start over with a clean slate. We want a new beginning for all of us and we want you to be a part of our new beginning. Just think about it please?"

* * *

><p>Derek stood in the Arrivals gate in the airport and waited for his family to walk out of the terminal. He kept glancing over at the flight schedule to make sure that the flight had arrived on time. After twenty-five minutes of waiting and watching other people greet family and friends he finally spotted Addison walking out of the terminal with their son on her hip as she pushed a cart full of luggage. He moved toward and wrapped an arm around her to greet her with a quick peck on the lips.<p>

"Addie, there are only four bags here," he said as she looked over the stacked luggage on the cart.

"I've got more" Addison answered with a chuckle. "Three more actually."

"Oh, is Adrianne bringing them out?"

"No, she didn't come," she replied. Addison pointed to a uniformed airport employee standing not too far from them. "See that guy? He's pushing my stuff on that cart."

There was a moment of disappointment on Derek's face before he reached his arms out to take the sleeping child from Addison's arms, "Let me hold him and I'll take this cart. You take the other one. Less luggage on that, it'll be easier for you to push."

Addison watched as Derek settled their sleeping son on his shoulder. He gently kissed his forehead as he held on to the child with one arm and started pushing the cart with the other.

Addison followed a little behind him with the second cart and caught up with him at the crossing light leading to the parking structure. "Derek?" she spoke up softly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I thought these bags would be heavier and harder to push."

"I'm not talking about the luggage," she replied, "You know what I'm talking about."

Derek shrugged, acting as indifferent toward the situation as possible, "It is what it is, I guess. It's nothing new, I shouldn't have expected anything different."

* * *

><p>I am so excited to finally post this story. A huge, huge thank you to <strong>AmyHale<strong> who listened to my idea and helped me develop the story through every patch of writer's block. She's been super helpful and I would have given up on this story weeks ago without her help.

I realize that Addison with a long-lost daughter is a popular theme lately (not that I'm complaining). I'm not sure if this falls in to that category. I don't think it does because the daughter is not really lost. They know exactly where she is and they have some form of contact. Oh the other hand it has an absent teenage girl so some may call it a long-lost daughter.

This is my first long(ish) chapter story in a while and I'm super excited about that. I am guessing it will be about 14 or 15 chapters. 16 is my favorite number so if I can get it to 16 that would be pretty awesome. Right now I'm working on chapter 7 so you can expect fairly regular updates...And I think that's everything you need to know for now.

Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm bored," Dylan complained to his parents outside a crowded restaurant as they waited for their table. "And I'm hungry. And I'm cold."

"It shouldn't take much longer, honey. We've got reservations. I'm sure they are just getting our table ready," Addison reassured her son.

"He gets that from you," Derek mumbled under his breath so their son wouldn't hear him. "They both got that from you, actually."

"What? The impatience? They were doomed from the beginning. Patience is a quality neither of us are fortunate enough to have."

"The constant complaining," Derek corrected. "You always find something to complain about."

Addison sighed. "We've got a long road ahead of us, don't we?" she asked rhetorically. "Some days you make me feel like we'll be able to get through this. You look at me and I just feel warmth and love. And then there are days, like today, where I wonder why I came out here. I question if you even like me a little, just a single thing about me."

Derek rubbed his forehead, taking a step to regroup. "I'm sorry." he offered. "Some days are harder than others. It will get better." he promised with a guilty sigh.

"Shepherd, party of three." The seating hostess poked her head out to call out the name.

Addison turned to look over the shoulder where she saw the young hostess scanning the crowd. She turned back to her husband and met his eyes for only a fraction of a second. "Do you still want to do this? We can forget it and go our separate ways tonight, you can have your space," she offered.

"Could you give us a second, please?" Derek said to the seating hostess, "We'll be in in a minute."

"Derek, I don't want our relationship to be tainted with obligation. I want to have these dinners every night together because we both want to, not because you feel like you have. If tonight you feel you don't want to be here then please don't. It would be much less painful for everyone that way."

"Lets go inside, Addie." he said, completely ignoring everything she had just said to show her that he was not there out of obligation to her. He placed his hand at the small of her back and held the door open for her and their son.

As soon as they were seated, Derek looked directly into his wife's eyes and reached out across the table for her hand. She hesitated for a second before taking it. "I'm sorry." he said again. "I might have moments like that but I'm not doing any of this out of obligation. We're gonna fight sometimes, we're both gonna say terrible things. It just means we care enough to fight, okay?"

Addison nodded her head. "Thank you, Derek."

"Don't thank me." he replied. "That implies that I'm doing you a favor or something of the sort. I'm not. I'm doing this because I want to do this, not because you want this."

"Mommy." Dylan said loudly, tugging on the sleeve of Addison's dress. "I didn't get a kids menu."

"I don't think this place has a kids menu, buddy." Derek replied in her place.

Addison shook her head. "They probably don't." she agreed. "We'll ask what they have that kids like. Worst come to worst you'll split with me or you can have something off the regular menu. You like French food."

"I got one more queshun."

"What's your other question?" Derek asked in response.

"How come Adrianne doesn't live wif us?" he asked curiously, alternating his glances between his mother and his father as he waited for an answer. "All the kids at daycare live with their brothers and sisters."

"Umm…"

"Are you ready to order drinks?" the waiter interrupted the, choosing the perfect moment to cut in.

"Yes!" Both Derek and Addison exclaimed at once, taking the opportunity to delay answering their son's question.

* * *

><p>It was their first night together under the same roof since she moved to Seattle. He had been living in his trailer and she was staying in a hotel while they searched for an apartment or house to rent. They considered buying but it seemed very permanent and neither knew what the future held for them. They finally settled on renting a two story house fifteen minutes away from the hospital.<p>

Addison stepped into the room in a pair of silk pajamas with her hair in a bun and all of her make up removed. She sighed heavily as she pulled the covers to get into her side of the bed. Derek looked up from his magazine and smiled at her.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I've just got a lot on my mind." she replied quietly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." There was a few moments of silence before she said, "Yes…"

Derek set down his magazine and turned his attention to her.

"Do you blame me for our relationship with Adrianne?" she asked, looking to her husband for an honest answer.

He was silent for a minute or so, he wanted to think out his words carefully so he wouldn't hurt her with his response. "I used to." he finally admitted. "But I realized that we don't really know what happen. It was just as random to you as it was for me. Whatever it is that happened, I'm just as responsible as you are and she's inherited an unrelenting stubborn streak from both of us. It's just a combination of things. It wasn't anyone's fault in particular."

"I'm her mother. I should have tried harder."

"I'm her father." Derek added. "It doesn't matter, we tried as hard as we could. We balanced it all as best we could."

"Well, that's just it. Maybe we shouldn't have balanced it. Maybe one of us should have left school for a little while, or dropped out. We'd be able to support her and live off of of one salary. Money may have been tight but my trust fund would help. It would have been okay. And maybe we'd have much less tension in our lives and our marriage would not have suffered like it did."

"Addie, we're both much too stubborn and determined to ever consider dropping out of school."

"I should have." Addison mumbled. "It would have been the right thing to do in that circumstance."

"The right thing to do?" Derek questioned. "You graduated at the top of our class at an Ivy League university for the second time in four years and you were the youngest person in our class. Yes, you worked your ass off but it came so naturally to you at the same time. You belonged there. Your whole life you'd be preparing for medical school, you weren't going to give it up. And rightfully so…Think of everything that's come from you as a doctor. All the little tiny babies that would have died without your help. All the babies who wouldn't have mothers without you. You're one of the best neonatologists in the country and you are internationally ranked as an ob/gyn."

"But I was so focused on my career that I ruined our relationship with our daughter."

"You did not ruin it. Addison, we were her primary caregivers while we were in school. My mom only stayed with her once in a while during finals and such. And when she was staying with my mom during our internship and residency we saw her every single time we have a day off. We saw her at least once a week, spoke to her four times a week at least. We made time for her. We did not leave her behind. You didn't do anything wrong." he told her reassuringly. "As she got older she was just less interested in the attention we gave her. All teens rebel against their parents. It wasn't anything you did or did not do."

Addison bit her lower lip as she just barely nodded her head. "Thanks, Derek."

"For what?"

"For being there for me tonight." she said with an awkward shrug. She wanted to move closer and put her head on his chest, maybe give him a peck on the cheek or something but she did not want to push her boundaries on their first night. She slid down under the covers and let out a deep breath as she closed her eyes.

"Addison?"

She opened her eyes and turned her head toward him. "This doesn't have to be so awkward." he said. "We're married, we've been together for over 14 years, married for over 11. We've got two kids and lots of history. This is not our first night living together and you don't have to walk on needles like it is."

"I just…" She stopped, unsure of what to say to actually express how she felt. "I just don't know my place here yet." she explained. "I don't want to press my luck by saying or doing something that I shouldn't have."

"What could you possibly say or do to press your luck right now?"

"Well, we both know that our relationship with Adrianne is my sore spot. What you just saw right now, that was vulnerability. You didn't make me feel vulnerable though, you tried to make me feel better and I'm really grateful. Normally I'd kiss you as a sign of gratitude, actually, under normal circumstances I'd kiss you before bed regardless of the conversations but I don't think that's okay anymore. I'm not sure that you'd want me to kiss…"

Derek swiftly moved in and pressed his lips to her before she could finish her statement. He kissed her softly before backing away. "Good night, Addie." he added and he fell back onto his pillow.

* * *

><p>She opened her eyes to the sound of loud but restrained giggling coming from downstairs. It took her a second to realize that the strange bedroom was the new room she was going to be sharing with her husband as they worked to resolve their marriage. A quick glance to the side revealed a stack of boxes that she needed to unpack and she knew there were more downstairs waiting for her.<p>

Addison got out of bed and reached for her robe only to realize that it was still packed in a suitcase sitting in the foyer downstairs. They had been too lazy to bring it up to the room. She walked downstairs in her silk pajamas and found her son and husband in the kitchen attempting to make pancakes in a pot. Dylan had flour all over himself and a stack of burned, torn pancakes in front of him.

"What are you boys doing?" she asked as she walked into the kitchen and glanced into the pot to see the mess of remnants of burned pancake batter.

"Well, we made pancake batter."

"Choco-chip pancake batter!" the little specified.

"Yes, chocolate chip pancake batter...and a separate secret batch of blueberry pancakes for you. Unfortunately, it wasn't until after we made the batter that I realized this is the only cooking crevice we currently posses."

"That's not ours." Addison replied as she stared at the pot.

"I know, I found it in the dishwasher and washed it again. Previous renters must have forgotten the stuff they put in the dishwasher. Anyway, I found a plastic fork from our takeout last night. It was the only thing I could use to make pancakes. But the bottom is not nonstick so the batter is sticking and I can't flip it and its burning and..it is a disaster. And my fork is kind of melting"

Addison nodded her agreement. She ruffled her son's hair to get the little bit of flour out of it then leaned closer to him to kiss his forehead. "Go wash up and get changed. We'll go out for breakfast. We'll have pancakes made on a griddle, not in a soup pot. Then we'll come home and you can help us unpack our stuff and get settled in."

"I tried." Derek mumbled, tossing the bent plastic fork in the trash in defeat.

Addison moved closer to him. She lingered awkwardly for a minute as she told herself that it was okay to show her husband intimacy and affection, that he wouldn't be upset over it. She drew in a breath and quickly pecked his lips, backing away before he could respond in any way.

"It's been a pretty good morning so far, don't you think?" Derek asked her a few minutes later as he sat on their unmade bed and watched her pull her hair into a ponytail.

"What makes you say that? The fact that our kitchen is covered in burned pancake crumbs and flour?"

Derek shrugged that off, waving his hand dismissively. "I had fun doing it." he said as an excuse, watching in the mirror as she quickly applied a coat of mascara. "You got to sleep in. Dylan and I had a chance to bond over a failed attempt to make breakfast. Its almost like we're one of those perfect families Disney movies."

Addison turned to face Derek with her makeup bag in one hand and the closed tube of mascara in the other. She placed the tube in the bag and started zipping before she spoke, "Except that I'm the unfaithful wife to an unfaithful husband, and we've got a daughter on the other side of this country who wants nothing to do with us. That's not exactly a perfect Disney family."

"I said almost," he reminded her with a laugh. "Hey, we've got a problems. That's what makes us interesting."

"You ready to go?" Addison asked, trying to change the subject.

At the restaurant Derek sat across from Addison who sat beside their son. She neatly cut up his chocolate chip pancakes into bite sizes pieces while her own stack of cinnamon french toast waited in front of her. Derek watched her carefully as she spent the time to cut equally sized pieces for their son and a smile grew on her face. The smile grew even wider when Dylan impatiently took the remaining half of an uncut pancake and took a ungraceful bite out of it.

"Dylan!" Addison groaned as she watched her son with a satisfied look on his face.

"He's a kid, Addie. He just wants food. He doesn't want equally sized ornate pancake puzzle pieces that only a slightly obsessive-compulsive surgeon would take the time to cut."

"It looks more appealing my way," Addison mumbled with a frown as she turned her attention to her own food. Just as she was about to take the first bite of her food she turned to see a pancake on her son's face. He'd bitten out two holes of his eyes and one for his mouth.

"I'm the choco-chip pancake monster!" he exclaimed playfully.

"Are you happy?" Derek asked.

"Not at the moment. Now he's got syrup on his whole face and a pile of half cut pancakes."

"I'm happy. I think I made the right choice. You're my family."

Addison smiled. "We'll see how happy you are about that choice when we're home and you're washing the syrup from his hair and behind his ears and god knows where else," she said jokingly.

They settled into a content silence as they ate their breakfast. Every time Derek looked up he caught his wife glancing at a nearby table. He tuned his head just slightly to see the family sitting at the table. It was a mother and father with a son who looked to be a few years older than their own and a pre-teen daughter who had the biggest smile on her face. He could see her bulky braces and a slightly splattering of freckles. He knew Addison was envious, wishing her own family could be so happy and complete. If he was being honest he'd admit that he was kind of envious of the father. He wished his daughter looked so awkward and unattractive. He always hoped his daughter would take after high school Addison or even natural Kathleen (pre nose job and brow lift). That way he'd never have to worry about unwanted attention from sex crazed boys. With his luck he ended up with a daughter who skipped her ugly duckling phase and went right to being a swan that demanded attention.

"Cute, right?" Addison asked when she caught him looking too. "They're a cute little family."

"The dad is balding. That comb over is not fooling anyone. And the mom needs to stop eating that muffin with her waffles. Sitting down she's got more layers showing than a Pillsbury biscuit."

Addison pulled her coffee cup away from her lips and tried not to choke on the sip she had just taken, nor did she want to open her mouth to laugh out loud and spill the liquid pooled in her mouth.

"Plus the daughter looks like Blossom from the 80s and the son...well, the son is the only decent one."

"Derek, it doesn't matter what they look like. They're all sitting at one table and happily having breakfast together. All of them."

"How do you know that they don't have another daughter somewhere across the country who loathes them?" Derek asked with a teasing smirk. "Addie, they may look happy right now but we can't judge their family based on that. We don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Look at us, unlike them, we're a good looking couple with hair and without extra layers blubber. We've got a cute kid who occasional sticks a pancake mask on his face. We probably look deliriously happy and perfect to onlookers."

Addison nodded in understanding, "I hate when you're right."

"It's rare that it happens so you don't have to get used to it," Derek replied jokingly.

* * *

><p>I'm so excited that so many people like this story so far. I'm really excited for it to play out and I can't wait to hear what everyone thinks as she story progresses.<p>

This chapter is a little bit of filler but it does serve a purpose. I wanted to show how heavily it weighs down on Addison and Derek and their marriage to have their daughter across the country. I'm not sure how successfully it comes across that they both constantly think about it and wonder if they did something to cause it. I hope I was able to carry that across.

Hope you liked the update! Review and let me know!


	3. Chapter 3

"Is he going to be okay?" The woman asked nervously as she rubbed the well of her stomach. Her brown eyes met Addison's and she anxiously bit her lip as she wait for the answer.

"I'm going to do everything I can for him," Addison responded reassuringly. "Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernias are fairly common and I've got a strong record with the surgery."

The middle aged woman nodded in understanding.

"Do you have any questions I can answer before we schedule the surgery?" Addison asked softly.

"Did this happen because of my age? My regular OB said that pregnancy after 40 can cause birth defects and other complications. And I'm over 40...way over 40."

"You are 43, that is not way over 40. I've had pregnant patients who were older than you," Addison replied as comfortingly as possible. "I've also had patients who were in there under 30 pregnant with babies who had the same defect. Age has nothing to do with this."

The woman gave Addison a relieved smile, "Do you have kids?" she asked.

"I do. A 14 year old daughter and a three year old son."

"Jeez, you started early."

Addison chuckled and nodded, "21. My husband and I had just started dating, we were in our first semester of med school and I got pregnant. Not exactly an ideal situation to be in."

"So you were," she paused to do the math, "...32 when you had your second."

Addison nodded in confirmation.

"That's 11 years younger than I am right now and this is only my first."

"You shouldn't compare yourself to me. I do everything before I should. Graduated high school before 17, did college in three years, started med school younger than most, got pregnant earlier than any sane person, got married when most people my age were barely getting engaged. My life moves at hyper speed."

"Is it different?" the woman asked her curiously.

"Different?" Addison repeated, unsure what her patient meant.

"Having a child in your 20s vs having one in your 30s."

There was a minute of silence as Addison considered the question, "It is different in some sense. In my case I already knew what a baby would entail, it was a planned pregnancy so there no adjustment period needed to come to terms to the change. But the whole process was the same for me. When you can start feeling them move that's when it really hit me that I've got this little life that's gonna show up and depend on me. From the second I felt that first little flutter I worried. I still worry. Every second of every day. That part didn't change between my pregnancies. I think no matter what age you start having kids you always worry and panic and its natural."

"What if this follows him for the rest of his life? That's a lot to worry about so early on, don't you think?"

"Don't worry about that," Addison replied, "It won't affect him in any way after the surgery. He'll never remember it and he'll only know because he may or may not have a little scar from the surgery. He'll grow up to be a normal, healthy kid."

"Thanks, Dr. Shepherd, I don't think I've ever met a doctor who willingly sat around and had a personal conversation for five minutes just to comfort a patient."

Addison lightly squeezed the woman's arm, "I get that a lot," she admitted. "I don't really understand why. It doesn't really take anything out of me so why not do it? Surgeons are cold and detached from their patients and I find that so strange. The surgeries they do do help to some extent but I think it takes more than cutting and suturing to fix most patients' problems."

"Dr. Shepherd," the woman called again before Addison could make it to the door. "Do you think you'll ever stop worrying about your kids?"

Addison turned as she reached the doorway, "Maybe when I'm dead. I imagine that if it was possible for me to worry after that then I'd worry about them forever."

* * *

><p>Derek sighed heavily as he walked out of the scrub room and started making his way toward the surgical waiting room. His heart was beating faster than usual and he could feel anxiety coursing through his body. He wasn't going to deliver the worst news in the world but as a father, he knew it was couldn't be easy to hear. He absolutely hated working on kids; he had no idea how his wife could build her whole career around it.<p>

"Dr. Shepherd," the nervous father rose when he saw him coming. "Is he okay? Did he survive?"

"He survived the surgery," Derek replied quickly, not wanting the most important question to be left hanging. "Why don't we take a seat?"

The man nervously sank back into his chair and watched as Derek took the seat beside him, "He did fine during the surgery. He lost a bit more blood than I would have liked so we gave him a transfusion. Other than that there were no complications during surgery. We were able to relieve the intracranial pressure and the swelling did go down. Recovery will be difficult, as with any surgery involving removing a portion of the skull."

"That's the good news?"

"Yes," Derek nodded.

"What's the bad news?"

"We are anticipating some brain damage. He was sitting on the hood of a friend's car while going over 40 miles an hour. He's lucky to be alive. If he had fallen in a different direction he could have gotten run over and killed."

"He's 16 years old. You know what its like with those teenage boys. Some idiot dared him and he did it."

"I know, I realize that. I know he didn't think this could happen, none of them think anything will happen to them."

"When you say brain damage," the man paused, "What do you mean?" he met Derek's eyes anxiously.

"He's paralyzed from the waist down. He may be able to regain function after recovery with severe physical therapy but such details are unclear. We have to wait for him to wake up and do additional testing before we know how severe it is."

"Do you have kids?"

"Yes," Derek replied, "and as a father I know how hard this must be."

"You try to protect your kids from everything, right? You control as much as you can until they hit these damn teenage years and you lose control. You're not old enough to have a teenage kid, not with your career so I'm gonna guess your kids are still little. Enjoy them. Because once you lose control and you can't protect themed it's terrible."

Derek chuckled and nodded his head, "It's worse than terrible," he agreed. "I actually do have a teenaged daughter. She's 14. My wife and I had her when we were in med school in our early twenties, very early twenties. Let me tell you, raising a child while in med school is very, very difficult especially when you're barely a grown up yourself but its nothing compared to raising a teenager."

"How am I supposed to tell him he may never walk again? How could I have let this happen? I'm his father, I'm supposed to protect him from doing stupid things like this. And wait until his mother finds out, of course this would happen during his week with me...What if she never lets me see him again?"

Derek shrugged his shoulder with no answer from his patient's father. "I'm sure she'll understand that it had nothing to do with you," he said hopefully. "I don't know her but I don't think anyone would take custody over something like this. This does not make you a bad father."

"If this doesn't make me a bad father then what does?"

"You know, I ask myself that question all the time," Derek admitted. "My daughter is not my biggest fan, she avoids me like the plague. And that makes me feel like a pretty horrible father. There are fathers who abandon their kids, beat them, neglect them, exploit them for money, molest them...There are terrible, horrible people out there who shouldn't be allowed to be parents. And they never ask themselves if they are bad fathers. Guys like us, we love our kids and do everything for them and we sit around wondering if we're failing. When you've got a son in the ICU after an incident like yours or a daughter who doesn't want anything to do with you how can you not have doubts? "

"You sound like you've give this a lot of thought."

"I think about it every hour of everyday," Derek admitted. He knew it was hard having to face your failures as a father. This father would have to remember it every time he thought of his paralyzed son and he remembered his own failures every time his daughter popped into mind.

* * *

><p>Dylan stood on his parents' bed with a smirk on his face. He watched his mother fold laundry and as soon as she turned her back to him to walk toward Derek's closet he started jumping. He made sure to keep his hands clamped over his mouth to keep from giggling. Every time she turned back and move toward the pile of laundry on the bed Dylan fought to gain balance on his feet. He stood around with a smirk and waited as she started folding a few pairs of boxers. Dylan giggled as his mother reached for the last pair of boxers in the pile but his joy was interrupted when her cell phone went off.<p>

"Hello?" she answered without glancing at the screen to identify the caller.

"Hello, Dear."

"Bizzy!" Addison exclaimed in surprise.

"How are you, dear? Are you busy?"

"Uh, no. I decided to leave work early today so I'm home now. Just hanging out with Dylan and folding laundry."

"Folding laundry?"

"Yeah. Derek's boxers, well I use them more than he does so I guess I should say my pajamas and Derek's t-shirts. You know, just incase you wanted me to be more specific."

"I did not need specifics. I am just surprised. I thought they have people who take care of that stuff for you," Bizzy replied.

"Well we commoners often end up doing these things ourselves," Addison replied sarcastically. "What's going on, Bizzy? I wasn't expecting to hear from you."

"Oh, I just had lunch with Adrianne yesterday and I just couldn't help but think how funny life is."

"You have lunch with my daughter?"

"Yes, Dear, we have lunch all the time. Once a week at the very least," Bizzy informed her daughter casually. "But anyway, I was saying that I am very amused by the situation. Adrianne and I get along so well and she seems to enjoy spending time with me but hates having to ever do it with you. And you were the same. You loved being around my mother and spending time with her but we couldn't get through an hour together without arguing."

"That's because Grandma was a warm woman who knew how to empathize with people."

"Margaret Bradford Forbes a warm, empathetic person?" Bizzy laughed. "Oh, Addison, that's what you saw. That's the kind of grandmother she was, not the kind of mother she was. And I am the same, I suppose. I'm not the best mother, I can be cold and unaffectionate but as a grandmother I am warm and understanding. It's a cycle, dear, don't you see? You'll be where I am now, where my mother was when I had you and Archer."

"It is not a cycle because as a mother I am nothing like you, Bizzy. I've never been cold toward my children. I've always done my best to be there for them as much as possible. I just don't know how to repair my relationship with my daughter and it is not because I haven't tried."

"She'll understand when she's got kids of her own."

"She's 14! I don't want to wait until she's got kids of her own," Addison told her mother. "Bizzy, as much as it annoys me that Adrianne would rather spend time with you than me, I don't think my relationship with her is anything like our relationship. I made different mistakes. I'm doing what I can to fix it."

"Dear, I didn't call you to ruffle your feathers. I just wanted to tell you that I saw your daughter and she's doing well. She's happy. I thought you'd like an update."

Addison sighed into the phone, "Thank you, Bizzy. That's good to know. I worry about her every minute of every day and I don't really have the means to be updated too often. She won't take my calls and she ignores texts and emails. Sometimes I feel like she made a decoy email address she never checks and gave me that one. So I really appreciate the update, knowing she's okay right now gives me a minute of relief and I really needed that today."

"Addison, one more thing."

"Mhmm?" Addison mumbled into the phone, urging her mother to go on as she turned her back to her son to put the stack of folded boxers away.

"For god sake, hire someone to take care of your laundry and all that other menial housework. Life's too short for you to do that stuff, work full time with a career as demanding as yours and raise a child."

* * *

><p>"You are late," Addison snapped as soon as she heard her husband walk through the door.<p>

"I know."

"You told me you would be home by 7:00. I made dinner. I made dinner from scratch. Dylan was waiting for you. You promised to finish reading him Hillard's paper from your journal. He was really disappointed that you weren't home in time for that."

"Is he in bed already?"

"Yes, it's almost 10. He's 3 and a half, he is dead asleep. He's been asleep for almost two hours now," Addison informed him angrily. "And it was torture because he refused to let me read anything else. I tried to trick him with another article from a journal you got in the mail today and that little monster recognized the difference."

Derek smirked proudly, "My boy's got a good ear for neuro research. That journal was with me that's why you couldn't find it. It was interesting stuff, I took it to finish during lunch today."

"Wipe the smirk off our face, Derek, this isn't a joke."

Derek's smile quickly faded, "I'm sorry I didn't call. I didn't think it was such a big deal. One of my patients from earlier today was rushed back into the OR after we discovered another bleed. It was unexpected and I didn't think to call."

"You never think to call! That's the problem, Derek. That was part of the problem in New York and it is still a problem here. When work comes up you forget all about your family! How are we supposed to move forward and rebuild our family in these conditions?"

"I was late once, Addison. As long as it doesn't cause you to jump into bed with anyone else I don't think it is a big deal."

Addison's jaw dropped. It was the first time he had used her affair against her in an argument.

"I uh," Derek stuttered once he realized what he had said, "I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"Obviously not," Addison agreed. "Because if you were you'd remember that I wasn't the only one who had an affair. I may have had a round in the throes with Mark but you flew out here and had a whole relationship with a younger woman. You escaped all memory of Mark by moving across the country but I work with your mistress on a daily basis."

"I'm sorry," Derek repeated.

Addison shook her head, "Just forget it, Derek. Forget I said anything. I've had a long day, I'm going to bed. Dinner's in the oven. I wanted to keep it warm for you."

"Okay, thanks," he said softly. He wanted to say something else or do something to stop her from leaving but he couldn't bring himself to. He watched as she left him standing in the foyer and practically ran up the stairs toward their shared bedroom. After he heard her slam the door shut he walked toward the kitchen and cracked the oven open to see a plate covered in foil. He stuck his hand over the cracked door to check for heat. After deeming it safe, he stuck his hand in and pulled the foil off the plate to reveal fettuccine in a creamy tomato sauce. A quick survey of the kitchen revealed a KitchenAid mixer sitting on the counter with an attachment stuck to it. She had made the pasta herself. She rarely did it but he loved when she did. It was something she had learned growing up in a house with an executive, private chef present at all times.

He slurped up a few forkfuls of pasta before leaving the plate on the counter and running up the stairs after his wife. "You made my favorite," he said simply when he walked into the bedroom. His brows furrowed together when he didn't spot her in bed and he knew she couldn't be in the bathroom because the door was open and the lights were off. That's when he heard a quiet sniffle coming from the walk-in closet. He opened the door and reached for the light switch to find Addison sitting on the ground under a rank of dresses.

"Addison," he said softly as she crouched down beside her, "I'm sorry I didn't call."

"It's fine. I overreacted,"

"No, you didn't. You're right. I did the same thing I was doing in New York. I didn't realize what it was doing to my family then and if you hadn't called me on it I wouldn't realize it now either. I'll try not to do it again. I don't want to put my career ahead of you and Dylan but if surgeries come up and I can't be home then I need to learn to have the courtesy to call."

"If it helps, you don't have any friends out here so I can't impulsively jump in bed with anyone out here for revenge."

"Meredith's kind of my friend...but I'm a guy so I would be more amused if I caught you in bed together than angry. Well, amused and possibility aroused."

Addison glared at him before roughly shoving his arm to knock him off balance and cause him to fall to the ground from his kneeling position. "Perv."

"No, just being a guy," he replied with a chuckle. "The pasta was really good. You made fettucine from scratch."

"I did. I left work early today and did some domestic things at home."

"I'm sorry, I'm sure you were tired and you put the time and effort to do this for me and I ruined it."

Addison shrugged, "It's done. Doesn't matter so much anymore. Just please call next time. I don't want to head down the same road again. I want to learn from our mistakes and move forward."

Derek nodded, "I will try not to make the same mistake again," he promised. "I want to go finish my dinner. I didn't have time to eat today. I'll be up for bed soon, okay?"

"Okay."

Derek jumped up on to his feet and held his hand out to help his wife off. She shook her head and response.

"I need a few minutes."

"You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine."

Fifteen minutes later Derek returned to the master bedroom to discover that Addison was still sitting in the closet under a rack of clothes. Only this time she had a photo album on her lap.

"What are you doing now?" he asked as he went and sat beside her cross legged. He leaned over her shoulder to get a better look at the picture. It was taken during their honeymoon when their daughter was about as old as their son was now. She had light brown hair, passed down from her mother, uncle and grandfather but her bouncy waves were all Derek. She had inherited the piercing green eyes from her mother and grandmother and even at three she had a spunky personality. She loved going shopping with her mother and even at three, she had a taste for fashion that was expected of from a Forbes-Montgomery descendant.

"Should have known she was trouble from the get go," Derek commented. "She basically planned the itinerary for the whole trip. She was a demanding little toddler."

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about her," Addison admitted. "Obviously she's my daughter and I think about her all the time but today I haven't been able to think about anything else."

"Me too," Derek admitted. "It was hard to get her out of my mind today. I tried to call her, she obviously didn't answer."

"I tried calling her too," Addison shared. "I spoke to Bizzy though. She recently had lunch with Adrianne and called to tell me that she's doing well."

"Bizzy and Adrianne have lunch?"

Addison nodded, "Often apparently."

"So you hate your mother but loved your grandmother and she hates you but loves your mother," Derek said with amusement.

"She talks to Bizzy, tells her what's going on in her life and how she feels about things. She has an actual, functional relationship with my mother but she doesn't even answer the phone when we call."

Derek took the album from Addison's lap and flipped to the next page for a new set of pictures. A grin spread on his face at a picture of his little girl in a frilly pink bathing suit with little sunglasses lying on a lounge chair in the sand on the private beach. "I had a patient today, a sixteen year old boy. Classic case of teenage invincibility. His friends dared him to sit on the hood of his car while he drove. He fell off, luckily toward the side and not the front so he didn't get run over. He's paralyzed for now. I don't know if he'll make a full recovery. But the dad was such a decent guy. You know those terrible parents that you come across, he wasn't like that. He did everything to provide for his kid and the kid was just being a kid…Our kid is across the country. I don't know what she does. I can't control it or protect her."

"I had a pregnant woman in her early forties. Her baby had a congential diaphermoatic hernia. She was so panicked because she thought it was her age that caused the defect and we got to talking about she asked if I had kids and how old they were. She asked me if it was any different having a child in your 20s to have one in your 30s."

"It is. It was for me, at least. I felt more prepared the second time."

"Well obviously, it was your second time. You knew what to expect. We were more stable in terms of our career and we were actually married. But preparedness aside, it wasn't any different. I had all the same fears. I worried about them just the same. I was telling her from the moment I felt the first kick with both of them I haven't been able to stop worrying."

Derek nodded, "Nope, after the moment when it hits you that you've got a little person depending on you, the worry never goes away."

"That's what ended up sending my mind into overdrive about Adrianne. After that conversation I couldn't get her out of my mind. That's why I left work early. I just needed some time…"

"Addison, what are we doing?"

"What?"

"We can't continue like this. Look at us, we're sitting in our closet looking through photo albums and discussing our misery. Our kid is not dead. She's a stubborn little brat who lives with my mother. If we want her to live with us then we can make it happen with one phone call to my mom to tell her to pack her crap."

"We can't do that to her, Derek. She would hate us."

"She already hates us," Derek reminded her. "She'll make us miserable when she gets here? She makes us miserable from there too. Really, there is no losing for us."

"She'll be miserable."

"She'll learn to adjust."

"You can't be serious, Derek. You really think we can handle something like that? We're still struggling to have a semblance of a decent marriage."

"I think our relationship is stronger than you give it credit for. We fought and I didn't walk out. That's a step forward, right?"

Addison nodded, "I would love having her home," she admitted. "It could even be helpful to our relationship. That burden we carry with her across the country has been a big strain on our marriage."

"So it's settled. I'll find out when Adrianne's semester ends and winter break starts. We'll spend a few days in Connecticut during her last week and she can fly home with us when she's done with finals. She'll be here for Christmas and after New Year she'll start the second semester at a school here."

"We're really doing this?"

"She's coming home, Ad. Decision made."

* * *

><p>Not so fun fact: I was picking up my sister from school and I actually saw her classmate sitting on the hood of another classmate's car and speeding down the street. And this is a small school in the heart of Hollywood, okay? Hollywood traffic is CRAZY. One wrong move and that kid would have been roadkill. Anyway, credit for the inspiration for that mini character mention goes to that idiot 17 year old.<br>Fun idea! In your review you should include the craziest thing you did in high school. I was (and still am) chicken shit. I was in student council and I told my parents meetings were twice a week for 2 hours. It was actually an hour once a week. The rest of the time I was hanging out down the street at Big Mama's and Papa's. Oh! And one time I pretended to vomit to distract my teacher for my classmates to steal a copy of our chem final. That was the peak of my badassery in high school.

Now review and tell me about your high school badassery.


	4. Chapter 4

I decided to post a second update this week and it is a pretty long chapter. Plus you finally get to "meet" Adrianne! I'm pretty excited about that.

* * *

><p>Derek, Addison and their son arrive in Connecticut mid December. They had only informed Carolyn the day before their arrival. They had taken a taxi to Derek's mother's house and received anything but a warm welcome from their daughter upon arrival. The teen manage to get through the whole day without speaking to them.<p>

"So," Carolyn started to break the awkward silence at the dinner table, "What brings you to this side of the country on such short notice."

"We wanted to see our daughter," Derek replied as he picked at his mother's famous meatloaf. He always hated it but pretended to like it, causing his mother to think it was one of his favorite dishes.

"You saw me," Adrianne replied with as much annoyances laced in every word as possible, "Should I get you a cab back to the airport?"

"Actually, we'll be staying for five day. Leaving Friday," Addison told her daughter.

Derek took a deep breath, his eyes meeting Addison's for silent encouragement to continue, "And you'll be coming with us."

Adrianne's eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"Adrianne, we don't need to see the wad of chewed up food in your mouth," Addison chided from across the dinner table earning herself a glare from her daughter.

"I am not coming with you. I don't want to come with you."

"Well, we're not asking what you want. We are simply telling you what is going to happen," Derek continued cooly, seemingly unaffected by Adrianne's harsh response.

"I have school on Friday! It's the last day of the semester. I have a final!" Adrianne argued. She turned to her grandmother, "Say something," she begged.

"I can't. They are your parents. They have legal custody. I can't say anything," Carolyn told her granddaughter softly.

"You will be able to go to school and finish the semester. They will send your transcripts when the finals have been graded and recorded. Our fight is in the evening," Addison informed her daughter as calmly as she could. She didn't want to come off as too much of a good cop to Derek's bad cop. She wanted to be firm but she also wanted to be able to comfort her daughter in whatever way possible.

"Isn't it illegal to take someone against their will?"

"Not when you're the parents and you have full legal custody," Derek assured the girl.

"It'll be a hard adjustment, it's been a while since you lived with us but you'll get used to it," Addison went on. "You can hate it, you can hate us. You can scream and yell all you want but it won't change anything. This has gone on for far too long and we're finally putting an end to it."

"When it's convenient for you," Adrianne muttered. "Always what's most convenient for Addison and Derek. You get an internship and need me here, that's what happens. Derek works on thanksgiving and sends his wife out alone because hey, it works for him. Addison feels neglected so hey, what the fuck, why not do your husband's best friend in his bed. It was convenient, why not?"

Derek could feel the anger building up inside of him. He could practically feel himself turning red. He was just about to lose control when he felt Addison's hand on his thigh.

She simply gave her daughter a smile and said, "We're all about convenience. Everything needs to be tailored to suit us. That's why we're flying home privately. You can sit in a handsewn leather recliner and complain for five hours all the way home. If that's not convenient then nothing is."

* * *

><p>"Did you know about this?" Adrianne demanded from her grandmother.<p>

"I knew they were coming. I didn't know why."

"Well do something!" Adrianne exclaimed. "Talk to your son! Convince him not to force me to do this."

"I have tried to speak to him about it. He says that his mind is made up and he's not changing it," Carolyn explained to her granddaughter.

"Well talk to the wife!"

"Your mother?"

"I try to avoid the titles of Mom and Dad when possible," Adrianne reminded. "But yes, her. Talk to her. She's got so much pent up guilt. If you make her feel bad she'll convince him to back off."

"I'm not close enough to discuss something like that with her," Carolyn replied, "Why don't you try talking to her?"

Adrianne's eyes widened at the suggestion, "Me?! Talk to Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery?"

"Hyphen Shepherd," Carolyn added.

"You know what she's like! She'd never take my wishes into to account. She never takes anyone into account. Grandma, this is the same woman that was head over heels in love with her husband and she impulsively cheated on him because his career started demanding more of him. She does things because that's what she wants!"

Carolyn shook her head just slightly, "We both know that I don't like your mother very much. Yes, she is impulsive and demanding. That said, I think there was a lot more to that affair than we know about so we can't cast judgement or blame."

"I don't want to live with them! I don't want to put up with them every day! I've barely been around them for an hour and I already feel like I'm suffocating with anger and anxiety."

The room broke out into a dead silence when a knock was heard on the door.

"Go away!" Adrianne called out.

The door opened to reveal her three and a half year old brother with a proud grin on his face. "I gotcha somefing!" he said as she stepped into her room and held out a white pastry bag to her. "Daddy took me where he used ta go after school when he was little. He said their cookies were really good so we gotcha a choco-chip cookie. That's my favorite kind. I love choco-chip everything. Do you like choco-chip cookies?"

Adrianne recognized the pastry bag to be from a coffee shop a few blocks away. She went there all the time with her friends after school and she loved their chocolate chip cookies. The discovery that her father shared the same memories was almost enough to change her opinion of the place. "I don't want a chocolate chip cookie. Leave me alone."

Dylan's excited grin broke and a slightly disappointed look took over. He stood there awkwardly for a second before taking a few steps to leave it on her desk. "You can have it later when you do want it," he suggested.

"I don't want the damn cookie! I said leave me alone."

"Adrianne, he's just a child. Don't take your anger out on him," Carolyn reprimanded the teen.

Dylan's lower lip started quivering. She'd only see that happen in cartoons with cute, little animated characters. He blinked his eyes quickly but couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his cheek. He quickly ran out of the room and back downstairs to find his parents.

"Ugh, he's gonna tell on me and they're gonna come in here and lecture me about being mean to their golden spawn."

"Adrianne, you can't avoid what's happening and you can't take it out on that child. If you want things to happen differently you need to take matters in your own hands."

* * *

><p>"Adrianne," Addison said softly as she poked her head into her daughter's bedroom. It used to be Amelia's room. It was the closest to the master bedroom where Carolyn slept and when Adrianne first moved to Connecticut she needed the closest bedroom to the master to make sure late night calls don't go unnoticed. Amelia wasn't too thrilled about the idea of giving up her room but she was willing to do whatever for her youngest niece's (at least at the time) safety and comfort.<p>

"Please leave me alone," Adrianne begged.

Addison ignored the request and stepped inside the room. She looked around at the decor; she'd never been in there before. "I uh, just put Dylan to bed. Your dad and I are going out with an old high school buddy of his and his wife. I wanted to catch you before we left because you might be asleep when we get back."

"You're leaving your child to go out?"

"He's asleep and he normally doesn't wake up once he's down," Addison explained. "And we will only be out for a couple of hours. We're just getting a drink and catching up."

"Thanks for sharing," Adrianne remarked sarcastically.

"I didn't come in here to tell you that, smart ass. I came in here to talk to you."

"About what? How you are making me do things against my will?"

"Dylan was upset after the cookie situation earlier," Addison told her. "He's just a child, Adrianne. You're eleven years older than him. You should understand that he's just trying to be friendly."

"I don't want to be friends with him."

"He's too young to understand that. All he understands is that you are his sister and he loves you for that reason alone. He rarely sees you and he gets very excited when he does. You can be angry and hateful toward me and your father but don't take that anger out on him. He's never done anything to deserve that."

"You're so protective of your golden child. Must be good to be him."

"I'm not protective of him. I don't like seeing you hurt and I don't like seeing him hurt."

"If you don't like seeing me hurt then why are you hurting me?"

Addison picked up a sweater off the bed and folded it neatly before placing it back where she found it. Adrianne grabbed it, balled it up and threw it back on the bed.

"Don't organize my stuff," she said firmly.

Addison sighed and took a seat at the edge of the bed. "We're not doing this to hurt you, Sweetheart."

"Could have fooled me."

"Adrianne, I've never done anything purposefully to hurt you."

"Never? Not when you accepted an internship knowing you can't manage it with a child? Not when you sent me here to begin with? Not when you got pregnant again or when you took time off work be with him? How about when you cheated on my dad and then left to move across the country?"

"I can honestly say that none of those things were done with the intention of hurting you. You've never given me a chance to tell you why we had your grandmother take you during our internship. I'd really like a chance to explain."

"You don't need to explain. It was convenient."

"But it wasn't. It wasn't at all convenient for us. It would have been easier to hire a live-in nanny," Addison told her. "I could afford it, it would be easy enough. We could see you when we were home but everything would be taken care of while we were at work. But I didn't want that. I grew up with nannies and I knew from the beginning that I didn't want the same for my children. I wanted you to have that sense of family love. I knew that Carolyn was the best person to care for you while I couldn't. She'd do things the way I would want them to be done. You'd always know you are loved. It wasn't the easier choice. We worked extra shifts over the week to have weekends off to come out here to see you. I turned down my first solo surgery offer because it was scheduled during your bedtime and I couldn't skip that because you wouldn't sleep until I read you a story over the phone. I made whatever sacrifices I could to make the best out of the situation we were in."

Adrianne briefly glanced at her mother, "Bizzy and I are having our weekly lunch tomorrow. I told her you are in town and she insists that you join us."

Addison's eyes widened and she groaned, dreading the prospect of having to spend more than half an hour with her mother.

"If I have to learn to put up with my mother you've gotta learn to put up with yours."

"You are going to make my life as difficult as possible, aren't you?"

"You have no idea."

* * *

><p>"Addison," Carolyn exclaimed, startled by seeing her daughter-in-law downstairs at 3 in the morning. "I wasn't expecting to see you. I thought everyone was asleep."<p>

Derek and Addison had been staying with Carolyn for two days but Addison did her best to limit her time with her mother-in-law. She spent most of her time in Derek's room and she skipped dinner that night because she knew it would be easier without her.

"I was but Dylan woke up after having a bad dream," she explained quietly as she rubbed her son's back. He had already fallen asleep with his head on her shoulder but she didn't want to move him until he was a little deeper into his sleep. "He woke up crying and I didn't want him to wake Derek so I brought him down here to calm him down and get him back to sleep. I hope we didn't wake you."

"I didn't hear anything. I just came down for a glass of water. I realized I forgot to take my medicine."

"Oh," Addison murmured awkwardly. She knew that her mother-in-law never really approved of her. She assumed that all of the problems with Adrianne had only added to that disapproval and the affair had pushed it over the edge. She wasn't quite sure how to address the woman or how comfortable to act around her.

"He looks a lot like Derek," Carolyn commented.

Addison nodded her head, "He does," she agreed. "As much as Adrianne would hate to admit it, she's exactly like me both in terms of appearance and personality and Dylan is very much like Derek."

"You know, I don't know Dylan very well. He's a beautiful little boy and he's so sweet but that's all I can say."

"Yeah, Adrianne doesn't like being around him and you're always with her so you've never really had the chance to spend time with him," Addison agreed. "He's a lot like Derek, though. Spend ten minutes talking to him and I'm sure you'll be taken back to Derek as a toddler."

"He seems very attached to you."

"I'm his mother," Addison replied with a quirked brow at the strange comment.

"You're Adrianne's mother. She wants nothing to do with you."

"She was attached to me at his age," Addison reminded her mother-in-law. "I'm not sure what happened or where I went wrong but it wasn't always this way and I don't want it to be like this forever. That's why Derek and I are trying to make a change."

"You're just hurting her more," Carolyn insisted. "Forcing her to move in with you is not going to change how she feels about you."

"She doesn't know me!" Addison exclaimed more loudly than she intended to. She glanced down at her son to make sure she didn't wake him before going on. "Sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice. It's just that this has always been a problem for me. People don't take the time to get to know me but the judge me. Adrianne knows of me. She knows of how she feels about the choices we made for her upbringing. I'm sure she'd heard your opinion of me and Derek's sisters' opinions and that's where she formed her opinion but she doesn't really know me. She's never taken the time to get to know me and she's never allowed me to get to know her."

"I think over the years she's been able to learn about you."

"When? When I showed up here for holidays for a few hours she never spoke to me. And once Derek started working more I only stopped by for an hour and she avoided seeing me. She doesn't know me. You don't really know me either, Mrs. Shepherd. You've never taken the time to get to know me either. Very few people take the time to get to know me."

"That's a bold accusation, Addison."

"Oh, no, no! I didn't mean to accuse you of anything. I was just saying that the opinions you have of me are not who I am. I am so grateful to you for raising my daughter when I couldn't. I could never accuse you of anything. I am just saying that I hate knowing she's so against me when she doesn't know me at all. That's what we're trying to change."

* * *

><p>"Hey," Derek greeted when his daughter walked through the door. "It's late, where have you been?"<p>

Adrianne glared at her father, "Excuse me?"

"I asked you where you've been. It's almost 11 and its Thursday. You have school tomorrow and you've got a final that you have been nagging about. You should have been home two hours ago at the latest."

"This is not your house, I don't need to go with your rules."

"But you are my child. You are alive because of me. That means you go by my rules."

"I _am_ alive because of you," Adrianne agreed, "because your condom didn't do it's job."

Derek's brow rose in disbelief of his daughter's audacity, "Trust me, Adrianne, if we didn't want you we would have gone through with the adoption or the abortion. We had options."

"Wow," Adrianne muttered. "Thanks, _Dad_," she added sarcastically.

"Where were you?" Derek asked again.

"I was out with my friends! You're forcing me to leave tomorrow and I wanted to see them and hang out before leaving!" she snapped loudly. She stormed passed Derek and ran up the stairs toward her room.

Derek rubbed his eyes with his hand, quickly realizing that being a father to a rebellious teenager was going to much different from anything he had ever experienced in his years as a father.

"What's with the yelling?" Addison asked when him when he walked into his old, childhood room.

"Adrianne just got home and I made the mistake of asking where she's been."

"And did she tell you where she was?"

"Out with a couple of friends to say goodbye."

"I suppose we owe her that much," Addison replied to her husband unsurely, "There is no guideline to how we're supposed to do this but I think we shouldn't push this issue for now. She needed that time with her friends for closure"

"It is after 11 and she is 14. It is a school night and she's got a final tomorrow."

"I know but she needs the closure to help her move on," Addison insisted. "Derek, she's got a whole life out here that we know nothing about. She's got friends at school, Bizzy has arranged tennis lessons and etiquette classes, I'm sure she's got friends from those groups. She's got a lot out here, she grew up here. She's leaving it all behind. That's hard for most adults and she's being forced to do it as a teen."

Derek gave her an understanding nod, "I guess you're right. I won't bring it up again."

"It's weird, right?"

"What?" Derek asked.

"Knowing our daughter has a life that we know nothing about."

"I didn't know she was taking etiquette classes or tennis lessons."

Addison met her husbands eyes and admitted, "Neither did I until I got here. Bizzy mentioned it during lunch yesterday. I didn't even think Adrianne would agree to that but Bizzy says she was the one that asked for her to make the arrangements."

"Wow, who would have thought our little rebel would want anything to do with activities like that," Derek mumbled in surprise. "I guess anger and resentment don't affect those classy Forbes-Montgomery genes."

"Or she did those things to bond with my mom because she knows that would annoy me like nothing else."

* * *

><p>Adrianne hugged her grandmother, refusing to let go as if Carolyn was her only tie to life. She sobbed hysterically and kept her head buried against her grandmother's shoulder to hide the emotions.<p>

"Derek, this is killing her," Addison said softly as she stood by the rental car and watched her daughter cling desperately to Carolyn.

"I know it is. She's seen my mom every day for as long as she can remember. It's a big change. She'll adjust," Derek reassured his wife and pressed his lips to her temple for comfort. "I'll go get her," he offered.

Addison nodded her approval and shifted her three year old from one hip to the other.

Derek walked up to the front steps of the house and placed a hand on his mother's shoulder, "We need to get going," he told the pair softly.

Carolyn pulled away from Adrianne, "It will be okay. Your parents want the best for you. You don't give them enough credit," she said as she brushed tears away from the teens eyes.

"You won't be away too long. We'll come visit and we can send you out for a weekend or two between our visits," Derek promised. "We will have grandma coming to visit us. You'll still get to see her a lot."

"He's right. We won't go long without one another. And we can talk any time you want, honey," Carolyn said as she brushed Adrianne's dark hair behind her ear. "Now get going, you don't want to keep the plane waiting."

Adrianne slowly followed Derek to to the car. He opened the back door for her and she quietly slid in to sit beside her brother while Derek sat in the front. She roughly wiped away her tears with her sleeve and sniffles before leaning her head against the cold glass of the window.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Addison asked softly, Addison turned around in the front seat and put her hand on her daughter's knee.

Adrianne met her mother's question with silence and quickly jerked her leg away. Addison sighed and turned back to face forward. During the whole trip back to Seattle Adrianne kept the least amount of contact possible. She ignored more questions and comments directed to her and only mumbled or grunted answers when she had no choice. She refused to make eye contact, let alone physical contact.

As they got home, Adrianne stood in the unfamiliar foyer and took in her surroundings. Derek looked around at all of the suitcases lying around the area and let out an exaggerated groan knowing he was responsible for lifting every overweight bag up the flight of stairs.

He reached for a bag when Addison reached out and stopped him, "Just leave them down here for now. Most of it is laundry so there is no point in taking it up and bringing it down."

"Thank god," Derek sighed. "I'll just take Addie's up so she can get settled in,"

"My name is Adrianne," The teen snapped. She hated sharing the nickname with her mother more than she hated the fact that she carried the woman's middle name.

"Which is too long," Derek explained. "And the only nickname I like is Addie. Hey, Addison, when your parents named you Addison Adrianne were they aware that they were naming you Addie Addie?"

"You can ask Bizzy the next time you see her," Addison suggested sarcastically.

"I will," he said determinedly. "Come on, Addie, I'll show you to your room."

"Stop calling me Addie!" The teen exclaimed in frustration. "I hate that name. It's so stupid that you gave me the same name! I don't want to have the same name as her."

"You don't have the same name exactly, you have her middle name. It is not like she goes by it," Derek said as he set the suitcase down in a furnished but undecorated room down the hall from his own bedroom. "I'll bring the other one up in a few minutes," he mumbled as he turned to leave the room. "Your mom and Dylan are probably down in the kitchen scouring over take out menus. Anything you're craving? Pizza, Thai, Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Sushi, Mediterranean- my favorite is the Greek sector of that. There is this amazing Greek restaurant really close by. I could go for that if you're up to it. They've got this chicken soup that makes me a little emotional because it's so good."

"I'm skipping dinner so get whatever you want," Adrianne said casually without looking in his direction. She sat on the bed to test the mattress and did what she could to avoid his gaze.

Derek frowned, "If it's the Greek food that you have a problem with then we could skip that and get something else. Pizza? Everyone loves Pizza."

"I don't want to have dinner with you guys!" Adrianne exclaimed loudly. "I don't want to be here to begin with! I wanna go home!"

Derek watched his daughter break down into a fit of tears. He stepped closer to place a comforting hand on her back but quickly changed his mind and stepped back, "I'll just leave you alone. If you get hungry you can text us and we'll bring something up to you. You don't have to sit with us, you can eat alone up here."

"I wanna go home," she mumbled to herself and buried her head in her pillow.

* * *

><p>Gotta be honest, this story seems to be one of my most unpopular based on the number of reviews. I'm having so much fun writing it though. Even if the group of readers is smaller, I hope you're enjoying it so far.<p>

Hope you liked this chapter. I was so excited that I couldn't wait until upcoming Monday (aka update day) to post this.


	5. Chapter 5

Adrianne sat in the waiting room in the surgical wing of Seattle Grace. She watched the room full of people anxiously pace back and forth and ask the receptionist for updates from the OR. She watched as surgeons came out to speak to different groups of people. Most of the time, she noticed, families were relieved but there had been a few cases which ended in heartbreaking sobs. Adrianne hated hospitals, possibly because she connected them to her parents but she wasn't quite sure if that was the actual reason. Sitting in the waiting room for hours only reminded her that she'd never go into medicine.

"Are you waiting for someone?" A girl seated across from her asked timidly.

Adrianne's eyes darted over to the girl. She quickly concluded that the girl must be about her own age. The look on her face was a mixture of fear and anxiety. She didn't see any harm in speaking to the girl but did not want to witness an emotional break down so she knew she had to tread carefully. "My parents," she answered casually.

"Both of them? That's terrible, I'm sorry. I'm just waiting to hear about my mom and I'm barely keeping it together. If it were both my parents I think I'd be in the fetal position in the corner sobbing."

"Oh, no, they're not in surgery...I mean, they are but uh- they work here so..." she trailed off awkwardly.

"Oh!" the girl exclaimed. "Stuck waiting here because of winter break?"

Adrianne nodded, "They are too paranoid to leave me home alone."

The other teen shrugged, "Can't blame them. I'm sure they are just trying to look out for you. Although being here all day must bore you."

"This is my first time day but yeah, it is pretty terrible."

The two settled into an awkward silence for a few minutes. Every once in a while the girl would glance at Adrianne and look away. After a few minutes she said, "You look a lot like my mom's surgeon. It's kind of weird. I'm sure you've heard it before though because you do look exactly like her. Have you seen Dr. Shepherd? Her first name starts with an A but I can't think of it right now."

"Addison," Adrianne supplied. "She's my mother so yeah, I have heard it before. More times that I like to admit."

"She's pretty so you should take it as a compliment."

Adrianne shrugged, "It just gets annoying hearing it all the time. I'm new to Seattle so every time someone new sees me they mention it."

The girl nodded, understanding that the comparison could become annoying. She leaned back in her seat and looked down at her cell phone.

Adrianne considered changing her seat or leaving to go wait somewhere else but she couldn't bring herself to go through with it. She cleared her thoat and spoke, "I'm Adrianne. What's your name?"

"Christine."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to but uh, what kind of surgery is your mom having? Fetal surgery?"

Christine shook her head, "She has cervical cancer. Dr. Shepherd is supposed to take out her uterus."

"Oh," Adrianne mumbled, "I'm sorry. I'm sure she will be okay. I would never say this with my mom around because she doesn't need an ego boost but she's really good. Like freakishly good at her job. I think your mom will be okay."

"I hope so. We're from Houston. After my mom was diagnosed we did a lot of research online to find the best doctor to do the surgery. All signs pointed straight toward your mom."

"Christine?" Addison interrupted as she came across the room. She smiled brightly when she saw her daughter sitting across from the girl. "Hey, sweetheart," she said to greet Adrianne. Then she turned to the other teen, "I see you've met my daughter. I hope she was able to keep you distracted for a while."

Christine nodded her head, "She did make it a little easier. Is my mom okay?"

"Your mom is doing very well. She's already awake from anesthesia but the grogginess will take a little while to wear off. The surgery went well, I removed her uterus and the cancer did not appear to have spread as your mother's previous doctor thought it had. And although she caught it early and we were able to treat it, I do want to monitor her condition to make sure the cell definitely did not spread. I'll find a few doctors in your area and give your mom a list of names so she can follow up every few months. If you're okay flying out here twice a year then I can monitor myself but that may be too hard for you and your family."

"Thanks, Dr. Shepherd."

Addison smiled, "You are very welcome. Do you want to see her?"

"Yes!"

"As soon as you walk out of this waiting room you're gonna make a left and walk straight ahead to the nursing station. There is a receptionist there who will point you in the right direction."

Christine got up from her seat, "See you around, Adrianne," she said kindly before leaving the room.

Addison watched the girl leave then turned to her daughter. She noticed that Adrianne was doing everything possible to avoid eye contact. She took a seat on the chair Christine had been occupying. "Thank you for keeping her company. She's been anxious. She had my OR paged three times for an update."

Adrianne shrugged, "It was hard to avoid. She was sitting right there. I couldn't just walk away."

"Actually, you could but you didn't so thank you," Addison told her softly. She reached for the waistband of her scrub pants when her pager went off. After shutting off the sound and checking the page, Addison looked up her daughter. "I've gotta get going. Emergency c-section. I wanted to go grab something to eat together but I won't have time until after and I don't want you to wait."

"When can I leave?"

"When your father and I are ready to leave," Addison replied as she took a debit card from her breast pocket. "Pin number is the last two digits of your birth year and the last two of your brother's. Go grab something from the cafeteria. It's not the best but we'll make it up to you at dinner," she promised.

Adrianne used the debit card to treat herself to hospital cafeteria lunch. Deciding that her parents could afford the splurge, she paid for her food and one of everything on the menu for other guests that would order in the future. After lunch she returned to the waiting room only to find that her previous seat was taken. She moved to the corner of the room and took a seat. Knowing she'd be there for hours before she could leave, she took up the seat next to her by propping up her feet.

After about an hour she turned her head and her eyes caught a woman in light blue scrubs standing by the room and staring at her. Her brows came together curiously when the woman wouldn't look away. Finally the woman crossed the room toward her.

"I'm not waiting on any news or anything," Adrianne told her before she could say anything. "Just waiting for my parents to get out of surgery so I can get the hell out of this place and go home."

"Is it an outpatient procedure? Because that's a separate department."

Adrianne shook her head, "They are not getting surgery, they are doing it."

"Oh," the woman nodded and turned away. She suddenly turned back with wide eyes, "You're the Shepherds' daughter?"

Adrianne cringed at the title. "I am," she confirmed.

"That's why you look so familiar. You look almost identical to your mother. I'm Meredith Grey, I'm an intern here. I work with your dad from time to time. I'm thinking about going into Neuro. I've worked with you mom too but I don't see myself in that path. It's so hard, I don't know how she does it. Not that neuro is easy but seeing dying little babies all day really kills any chance of a good mood."

"You're interested in neuro or you're interested in my dad?" Adrianne quickly responded to the intern. "You're the intern he was dating, right? The rebound that turned into a two month relationship that he was going to leave my mother for?"

"I don't think he would leave her for me."

Adrianne shrugged, "Maybe not anymore but I'm sure it ran through his mind before. But you are nothing like I thought you would be. Is this your work look or your everyday look?"

"Excuse me?"

"No offense. It's just that my mom looks like she's not human. It is unnatural to look that good all the frickin time. In comparison, you're a little more plain and down to earth. You're exactly the type my grandma wanted for my dad. I didn't know my dad was into that type."

Meredith's brow rose, unsure if she should be taking offense to the comment.

"Maybe the girl next door thing was always his type. Maybe Addison was just meant to be someone to keep him warm at night as he transitioned into med school and he ended up stuck with her after she got pregnant with me. Maybe the whole relationship was and still is obligation. Or maybe she was his type and then his type changed when he met you. What about you? Has your type always been older married men or was this a sudden shift for you too?"

Before Meredith could figure out if the question was a sarcastic, rhetorical one the pair was interrupted. Derek stood there in a pair of scrubs and a scrub cap. He looked surprised to find Meredith speaking to his daughter. "I, uh, just wanted to check on you," he admitted somewhat awkwardly as he tried to figure out what the pair was talking about.

"I was just getting to know your mistress," Adrianne remarked with a smirk. "Who knows, if things don't work out with you and mom then she could be my new mom."

Meredith's eyes widened at the remark.

"Ignore her, Dr. Grey. She's just full of teenage angst," Derek advised as lightly as he could. He wasn't surprised when Meredith took that opportunity to practically run out of the room. As soon as the woman was gone Derek tuned to her daughter with a disapproving expression. "Please don't make her uncomfortable. I imagine that having her ex-boyfriend and his whole secret family in the hospital is hard enough. She doesn't need you taunting her."

"Wow. You are mighty protective of your ex-mistress...It is ex, right?"

"I just don't want things to get any more awkward than they are."

"Then maybe you will start letting me stay home alone instead of dragging me to spend my whole day killing time in this hell hole. I hate hospitals. If you knew me at all then you'd know that and you wouldn't force me to come here."

Derek groaned. It was only Adrianne's second day in Seattle and she was already much more than Addison's could handle. "Was this all for that? Adrianne, I don't feel comfortable leaving you home alone yet. It comforts me knowing that I'm near by if you need me. If you're home alone and we're at work then we wouldn't be much good if something happened."

"That didn't seem to be a problem when you guys abandoned me for your career. Suddenly it's a problem now?"

* * *

><p>"Why hello there, wife," Derek greeted playfully as he came up beside her at the nurses' station and placed his chart down. He reached for a pen from his breast pocket and started flipping through the chart until he reached an order form. He wrote down his request for a repeat MRI and signed the bottom before handing it off to a nursing student to take care of.<p>

"You are awfully cheerful."

"I am, I've had a good day so far. I've had two surgeries so far, two craniotomies. They both went very well. How are you doing? Have you had a chance to check on the kids? I know you've had a busy morning so I can go, if you want."

"I have had a very busy morning. Two c-sections, a bowel resection on an infant and a hysterectomy."

"Wow, just hearing it makes me tired."

Addison nodded with a heavy sigh, "I had a chance to check on Adrianne. I went in to see my hysterectomy patient's daughter and Adrianne was sitting with her. I think she's slowly starting to do better. She was actually able to comfort the girl."

"When was this?"

"Around 12:30 or 1."

"Well I went to check on her twenty minutes ago and she had cornered Meredith. Based on the facial expressions I'm gonna say that she's still got a lot on anger inside of her and she's got lots planned for us to release that anger."

"Uh oh," Addison muttered, eyes wide. "That's not good. I was hoping those two wouldn't meet, at least not on Adrianne's first day here. Maybe down the line when she's more calm and reformed but not now."

"Too late for that. They met. And Adrianne did everything she could to make it uncomfortable for Meredith."

Addison smirked, "I wonder if she asked if she was the woman who had been screwing her father."

"I'm sure it was something similar," Derek replied, trying to hide his amusement. "Considering that she is basically your clone I'm sure that she does somehow share a mind with you so she would choose something terrible to say to that poor woman."

"Poor woman," Addison scoffed. "When you start a relationship with a married man with two children then some awkwardness is expected."

"She didn't know!"

"She knows now," Addison pointed out. "It doesn't stop her from looking at you with the lost puppy look. I'm sure Adrianne didn't say or do anything that was too wildly uncalled for."

"Addison, you'd defend her if she killed and ate Meredith for dinner."

"I would not. That would fucking terrify me because I'd next on the list," Addison replied jokingly. "I am not saying it was right for her to corner Meredith but we don't really know what happened between the two of them. And you better believe I'd take my daughter's side over your girlfriend's."

"Ex-girlfriend," Derek corrected.

"You're certainly not acting like it right now," Addison quickly pointed out. "She's our daughter. Your flesh and blood. It would be nice for you to have more concern for her than Meredith."

Derek nodded, admitting that she is right. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I'll go apologize to Adrianne too. I just don't want to be too soft with her. You're way to soft and I understand that it is because you feel guilty but I need to be firm to balance that out. If we're both too nice then she's going to walk all over us."

"She's adjusting, Derek," she reminded her husband. "We can't make it too difficult for her. It is hard enough as it is."

* * *

><p>Christmas Morning was one of Dylan's favorite moments of the year. He ran ahead of his parents down the stairs and toward the Christmas tree. His eyes lit up at the mountain of presents under the tree.<p>

"Are they all for me?" Dylan asked hopefully.

Addison chuckled, "No, they are not all for you."

"Adrianne! If you are not downstairs in ten seconds I am going to come back up there and carry you down." He heard his daughter groan and glanced at his wife, "Should I go up to to prove I'll do it?"

"No, give her a minute."

"Mommy!" Dylan called anxiously, already sitting cross-legged by the tree next to a small pile of presents. He had one silver wrapped box in his little hands and he was holding up for his mother to see, "Can I open this first?"

"I don't think that's for you, sweetie," Addison replied, "Did Santa put a label on it?"

"No, Santa's assistant forgot to buy those little name stickers when he went to get wrapping paper." Derek reminded her. He was responsible for three things: wrapping paper, tape, and name labels. He had gotten the wrapping paper but forgot the rest and he and Addison ended up wrapping their children's gifts with medical tape that was left in Derek's scrub pocket.

"Sweetie, can you hold off on unwrapping for a couple of minutes. I'll start brewing coffee of us and Daddy will get hot coco going for you and your sister. We'll unwrap once we have our drinks."

Dylan groaned, "Mommy, I'll die if you make me wait!"

"You won't die," Addison assured. "And you'd have to wait either way because your sister is not downstairs yet."

Dylan sighed in defeat, "Fine, you do that and I'm gonna go see when Adrianne is gonna come down."

He ran back up the stairs and headed toward his sister's room. He had never been passed the door and he understood on a basic, childlike level that he was not welcomed. He knocked on the door and called her name, "Mommy says we can't open the presents until you come down."

No answer.

Dylan waited as patiently as he could but once that patience was gone he turned the knob and poked his head in. His eyes widened when he spotted his sister lying in her bed with the pillow on her head then the blanket pulled over it. "Adrianne!" he yelled. "You's not even up?!"

He turned back down to his parents. If his friends at preschool found out they would call him a tattle-tail but he didn't care. "I uh, Adrianne! Ad, I, she-" the three year old was too angry to form his thoughts into a spoken sentence.

"Calm down," his father instructed. "Deep breath in and out, think about what you want to say then speak calmly so you don't jumble up your words."

"Adrianne is still in bed!" he yelled angrily. "I gots to open my stuff and she's not even up! I don't wanna wait."

Derek glanced in his wife's direction. They both understood the toddler's frustration. He had basically grown up like an only child, he never had to wait or make sacrifices and now it was hard from him to accept that there was another child to consider.

"Honey, you go wait by the tree. I'll bring the drinks in a second and Mommy will go check on your sister. Maybe she's not feeling well or something is wrong. You shouldn't be angry that she's still in bed," Derek explained.

Addison filled the hot chocolate into two snowman shaped mugs and dropped a few mini marshmallows in each mug before going to check on her daughter. As Dylan had described, Adrianne was still in bed, head buried under the blanket and her pillow.

"Adrianne," she started softly, "It's Christmas morning, we're waiting for you downstairs to open gifts."

"No thanks," Adrianne grumbled as she turned away from her mother. "I think I'm just gonna skip it."

"Skip it? Are you feeling okay? Are you getting sick?" Addison asked.

"I'm fine."

"Then how does one skip Christmas morning? You don't want to see what you got?"

"Well, one ignores their mother's voice so one can continue to sleep," Adrianne responded, pulling her head from its coverings to glare at her mother who was standing by the bed. "And no, I don't particularly care to see what you brought me to bribe me into thinking this arrangement might work."

"Adrianne, I know this is still very new and that it has barely been a week but how much longer do you plan on keeping up with this sort of bratty behavior? I know you're a smart girl and I know that you know we are not doing this to hurt you."

"Mom, please?" Adrianne pleaded.

Addison froze for a second. Her daughter hadn't used that title for her in a very long time. She had noticed that Adrianne didn't really address her as anything. Hearing the word gave her some reassurance that maybe somewhere down the line everything would work out.

Addison sighed and shook her head in defeat before turning to leave the room, "We're gonna do this without Adrianne," she said quietly so only her husband could hear her.

Derek nodded to acknowledge the information. He sighed heavily and then hesitantly stretched out an arm. After a second of thought he put his arm around Addison, who had taken a seat on the couch beside him. He rubbed her forearm and turned his head toward her to kiss her temple.

"Can I open my presents yet?" Dylan whined from the sidelines, still impatiently sitting on the floor my the tree staring at the presents longingly.

"Yes, you can start, sweetheart," Addison replied. "Santa called me while I was upstairs. He says everything wrapped in the white wrapping paper with blue snowflakes is for your sister. Everything wrapped in white with the green Christmas trees are yours."

"Yes!" Dylan yelled in excitement as he dove toward a cluster of Christmas Tree wrapped boxed.

As Dylan unwrapped his first present, Addison turned back toward Derek.

"You okay?" he asked her.

"She called me Mom."

"What was she calling you before?"

"She wasn't calling me anything before. It caught me off guard, I wasn't expecting to hear it. I can't help but think that maybe it is a good sign. Maybe she is starting to come around. Maybe she is starting to understand that we are not trying to hurt her."

Derek gave her a skeptical shrug, "Maybe."

Addison gave him a sideways glance, "You sound doubtful."

Derek sighed and shrugged in response, "Addie, she's not coming around. If she were then she would be down here with us right now to open her presents. She just said and did something to get you off her back for a little while. She knew that if she gave you some hope that things are getting better than you'd back off and leave her alone. She's just using your weaknesses to her advantage, Ad. I love her and I hate saying things like this but it's true. I'm just trying to protect you. I don't want you to get your hopes up and get hurt."

Addison sighed heavily. When she son turned back to show her the video game system Santa had gotten him she grinned and gave him the enthusiasm he sought. As soon as Dylan turned to the next box her facade was gone as she met her husband's eyes.

"It's going to be a long road, Ad. We both knew she wouldn't come around in a week. I know having her here gives you more hope but just remember that we've got a long road ahead of us, okay? We'll figure it out eventually."

* * *

><p>You guys certainly proved me wrong! I got 5 reviews for chapter 2 and 6 for chapter 3 so I figured this story wasn't as popular as most others and I was totally okay with it. Then I got 14 for chapter 4! That was an awesome feeling. I know I'm a bit late with update but I'd appreciate your review to relive that feeling :)<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

Christmas and New Years were Adrianne's favorite part of the year. She chose to ignore the fact that she had learned her love for the holiday season from her parents and credited her grandmother for putting the holiday joy in her. This year she did not have a spec of tangible holiday spirit about her. Her Christmas presents from her parents were still sitting in wrapped boxes in her closet and she chose to ring in the New Year alone in her room while her parents were downstairs hosting a party with a small group of friends.

A small part of her hoped that the move was not permanent. She had hoped that her parents would give up and let her go back to the only home she had really known with her grandmother. That hope dashed on her first day at school after New Year's. She knew she would be going in as a new student half way through the school year and no one would know here. She would struggle to find her place with unfamiliar students and strangers as peers. She also realized that starting school would mean that she would not have the option to leave anymore. She couldn't switch schools for the second time in one school year.

"Adrianne," Addison said softly as she poked her head in to her daughter's messy bedroom. She saw Adrianne lying in bed with her cell phone in bed with a book and stepped in. There was some hesitance as she moved further in the room. "I am not feeling well so I'm probably not going to go in to work tomorrow. I'm gonna try to sleep it off so your dad will probably be taking you to school. Just in case I don't see you in the morning I wanted to talk to you now."

"I've been to school before, I don't need a lecture."

"I'm not going to lecture you," Addison assured her. "I now that you have been to school before, but this is a new school with new people in a new city and I know that can't be easy. I know this may be a stretch but I think I can relate. Starting over in a new city in a new hospital where I did not know anyone but everyone knew me, at first I felt like it was a high school. I felt like I was a 16 year old weirdo with braces and a fading lisp. It was just...bad. Just remember, it doesn't matter where you are or what others think of you. You know you're capabilities and yourself, you just need to remember why you're there, do your thing then you can come home and forget."

"I need to sleep" Adrianne replied to her mother after a moment of awkward silence.

Addison nodded understandingly, "Just wanted to wish you luck. I think you'll do great. And if something does happen and you want to leave early then you can call or text. I'll be home so I can come get you anytime."

"I don't think that will be necessary but thanks," Adrianne said as she set her book down on her nightstand and curled up on her side. She patiently waited until her mother left her room before letting out a deep sigh and closing her eyes.

* * *

><p>"I'm gonna be in surgery when you get out of school," Derek told her as he pulled up to the curb in front of the school. "I don't know who will be here to pick you up but I will arrange something and text you to let you know beforehand."<p>

"I thought she wasn't going to work today. Why can't she pick me up?"

"She? Your mother? I was thinking of letting her stay home to rest. I don't want her to get out of bed to drive around and come get you guys. I want her to rest and recover. Plus I don't want you guys to catch whatever it is that she has."

Adrianne reached for the door handle and opened the door. She reached for her shoulder bag and the slammed the door shut before her father could say anything else.

It was almost 10:30 when Addison woke up and even then she couldn't bring herself to get out of bed. The night before she went to bed feeling like her stomach was lurching and that feeling was still there after almost a full 12 hours of sleep. She reached for her cell phone on the nightstand and called the hospital to call in sick and then called Derek, hoping she would be able to catch him.

"Hey," Derek answered. "I'm in the middle of a procedure, Ad, you're on speaker."

"What procedure?"

"Trying to fix it brain hemorrhage after a head trauma. Nothing too major. How are you feeling? Any better? Are you at work?"

"I'm not, I woke up about ten minutes ago. I'm feeling weak and fatigued and that cologne you used this morning is all but making me gag."

"Last night you thought it might be food poisoning. That doesn't really sound like food poisoning anymore. Sounds a little more like the flu."

"Maybe," she mumbled. _Maybe he was right_ she told herself but a nagging feeling in the back of her mind couldn't fight off her own assumption.

"Drink lots of fluids and I'll make you some of my famous chicken soup when I get home," Derek promised. "And don't worry about the kids. I'll send someone to pick them up and bring them here. I don't want them to catch what you have."

"How about you arrange a pick up from Dylan and I'll get Adrianne." Addison suggested. "I don't want to sit home alone all day."

"That sounds like the opposite of a restful day."

"No, it'll be fine," Addison insisted. "I'm gonna leave you to your surgery now. Good luck."

"Kay, feel better." Derek responded quickly before she could hang up.

Addison tossed her cell phone aside and nuzzled her head into her pillow with a miserable moan. She knew she did not have the flu. It could have been food poisoning she told herself. It had to be food poisoning.

After a long nap and a hot shower Addison left the house with the excuse of picking up her daughter. She made one quick stop at the drugstore before going to get her ninth grader. She parked outside of the school and sat there for 25 minutes while hundreds of other students climbed into cars and drove away. By the end of her wait there was only a handful of students left and her daughter was no where in sight. She got out of the car to check the office where she was told her daughter had been in school in the morning but not since then.

Addison tried to call her daughter but the phone went straight to voicemail. She could feel her stomach churning more and more and she just could not control her emotions. She leaned over the sidewalk by her car and vomited on the curb. She crinkled her nose as she looked down at the mess and the vomit splattered on her car before ungracefully wiping her mouth with the sleeve of her sweater.

As soon as Addison got into her car her cell phone went off. She glanced down at the screen to see her daughter calling her back. "Adrianne?"

"Hey, I forgot to tell you that you don't have to pick me up. I went out with friends."

"I am at your school now. They told me that you haven't gone to any classes since this morning."

"Yeah, I met some new friends and they wanted to show me around Seattle."

"Addie, I'm not paying almost 7 grand a month for you to ditch your classes and go sight seeing. I enrolled you in this school because it is a great school and it can open up many doors for you. I was hoping you would take your education more seriously."

"Do not call me Addie. Never call me Addie," Adrianne reminded her mother. "I don't want to share a nickname with you. It is weird. And I ditched once. It doesn't meant I don't take my education seriously. Anyway, just wanted to tell you not to worry. I'll be home later."

"Later when?" Addison inquired.

"Later tonight." Adrianne vaguely elaborated. "Kay, gotta go. Friends are waiting on me," she said quickly before hanging up the phone without waiting for a response from her mother.

Addison tried not to let the situation frustrate her too much. After all, Adrianne was a fourteen year old high school student who had feelings of abandonment and resentment toward her parents. Addison knew this sort of behavior was nothing unexpected.

After getting home Addison went straight up to her room. She went in to her walk-in closet and aligned her purse on a shelf full of similar looking purses. The box hidden inside her purse would have to wait for later. She tossed her sweatpants aside and pulled on her flannel pajamas before crawling back in bed and pulling the covers all the way up to her chin. The exhaustion of the day had really gotten to her and she needs a nap before Adrianne got home.

"Addie," Derek said softly as he nudged her shoulder.

Addison's eyes fluttered open. Once the grogginess wore off she saw her husband standing in front.

"Hey, I made you some chicken soup," he said, picking up the soup bowl from the nightstand beside her. "I'm positive you haven't eaten anything today."

Addison's stomach lurched as the smell hit her nostrils. "Get it away, please."

"What?" Derek asked in surprise as he set the bowl down on the far edge of her nightstand. "You love my chicken soup."

"I do but that smell is making my stomach churn right now," Addison mumbled.

"You've spent all day in bed? No food, no fluids?"

"I haven't been in bed all day. I've gone between kneeling on the bathroom floor and the bed and I went to get Adrianne from school."

"Speaking of Adrianne, where is she?"

"Out with friends."

"Wow, really? Friends on the first day of school, that's great. And she already feels comfortable enough to go out with them! That's really great."

"Yeah, it is. I think this could be a turning point." Addison said with a smile. "Now if you'll excuse me, that smell is really getting to me and the toilet is calling my name."

* * *

><p>Addison sat on the couch with her feet propped up on the coffee table in front of it. She had a glass full of ginger ale in one hand and the remote control in the other. Derek had already put their son to bed and then got called back to the hospital when a complication arose with one of his extremely high risk patients. He was hesitant about leaving Addison home alone with the kids while she was sick. After an unsuccessful attempt to find someone to cover for him, Derek finally gave up and left the house.<p>

Addison was flipping back and forth between Sex and the City and Untold Stories of the ER when the front door opened and slammed shut. She turned down the volume of the TV and waited for the person to walk further into the foyer to see if it was who she thought it would be. Adrianne still had not come home after the outing with her friends and Addison had been anxiously waiting for her return.

"Are you waiting up for me?" Adrianne asked incredulously.

"It's 9 pm. I wouldn't call it waiting up so much as I would call it watching TV," Addison replied. "I was expecting you home hours ago, though. I tried to call but your cell phone was off."

"Yeah, I was at the movies. I had to keep my phone off," Adrianne quickly explained.

"I thought you said you went sightseeing."

"We were. Then we grabbed an early dinner and went to the movies."

"I'm just saying it would have been nice to get updates every once in a while so we could know where you are and when to expect you. I know you're just going to roll your eyes and ignore me because it doesn't feel so important but those things are very important to parents. We literally spend a huge chunk of our day worrying about our kids."

"Nothing to worry about, I'm fine."

"You were fine tonight. In general though, a lot could happen. And we work in a hospital, we see everything that could happen and it is hard not to worry. You hear about teens in a car accident and the first thing that goes through you mind is 'Adrianne was in a car with a 17 year old...' You turn on the news and hear about a robbery or a shooting somewhere and the first thing you think is, 'Oh, I hope my kid wasn't around.' That's just what parents do."

"I'll consider occasional texts next time I go out," Adrianne offered.

"You'll consider? Wow, that's very big of you," Addison replied sarcastically.

"I'm going up to bed now," Adrianne replied, rolling her eyes as she took a step backward toward the staircase.

"Wait," Addison stopped her before she could take another step. "I wasn't done with this conversation yet," she informed her daughter and gestured for the girl to come closer.

"I really want to get to bed," Adrianne whined as she took a few steps forward.

"I'm really glad that you were able to make friends so quickly. Finding a little clique of friends is important to feeling more at home and comfortable."

Adrianne rolled her eyes, "Such a Kathleen thing to say."

Addison laughed at her daughter's comparison. Her comment did sound very much like something her sister-in-law would say. "I guess when you spend enough time with people you start sounding like them."

"I hope not. I'm being forced to spend an awful lot of time with you and your other half and I don't want to sound anything like either of you."

"Oh, Honey, you're too late because you already sound, look and act exactly like me," Addison replied with a smirk. "And there is nothing you can do to change it."

"You'd be surprised..." Adrianne mumbled under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing," she quickly shot out. "Can I go now?"

"One more thing," Addison told her as she started to turn away. "I'm glad you're making friend. I want you to have friends to turn to and all of that but, Adrianne, I will not tolerate reckless behavior for the sake of being in an in group. I don't want you skipping school. No friend is worth that. Your future is so much more valuable than that. I did not tell your father this time and I won't punish you because I know that you're 14 and this is a part of growing up but if it happens again then there will be consequences. Are we clear?"

"Crystal."

* * *

><p>"Hey," Addison greeted with a big smile when her daughter walk in to her office after school. "Great timing, I just got out of surgery and I'm almost done with these post-op notes. Are you hungry? I worked through my lunch break so I wanted to hit the cafeteria to see what they had and now you can come with me."<p>

"Oh, you're eating again? That's a start. Yesterday your significant other was concerned about you."

"I've noticed but I'm fine. I have just been feeling sick lately and it doesn't leave much of a appetite. But right now I feel like I could eat just about anything and I need to act fast before that goes away and is replaced by nausea."

Adrianne raised her eyebrows as she watched her mother sign her name to the bottom of the chart.

"You ready to go?" she asked as she got up from the chair behind her desk.

"Actually, I didn't come here to join you for lunch. My friends are waiting in the car. We are gonna go out for lunch and hang out so I need money."

"Going out with friends again?" Addison asked with intrigue. "That's three times in the first week you've been there. I'm glad you were able to make friends so quickly. Although I am not sure how I feel about you being in a car driven by a 16 years old…"

"He's almost 17," Adrianne corrected her mother.

"Oh, that makes it so much better," Addison replied sarcastically. "Didn't your father give you money a few days ago?"

"Yeah, he gave me 20 bucks three days ago. I used it to buy lunch from school a few times and I had to uh, buy a book for one of my classes."

Addison raised an eyebrow suspiciously, "What book?"

"To Kill a Mockingbird for English Lit," she lied. She already had a copy of that book from the previous school year so she'd be able to show it as proof if asked.

"We have three copies of that book at home. Why get another one?"

"Why would you have three copies?"

"I bought a copy in high school and you dad had his own copy from high school. And it was one of his favorite books so I bought him a first edition hard cover for Christmas one year."

"Well now we have four copies," Adrianne responded with a shrug. "So can I have money?"

Addison walked toward her purse which she had left on the small couch. She took her wallet out of her purse and held out a twenty dollar bill for her daughter, "I learned not to trust you with my credit cards after seeing a 250 dollar charge from the hospital cafeteria," she explained.

"Twenty bucks?"

"I think twenty bucks is enough for lunch for one person, don't you?" Addison gave her daughter a skeptical stare as she waited for an answer. "In fact, I think you should be able to get coffee and lunch with that much money."

"But what if we do something else? We may go bowling or we might catch a movie."

"On a school day? I think I'd rather have you skip the movie and get home early enough to do your homework. I don't want you awake until three like you were the other day."

"Come on, we're in high school. We're not little kids! Besides, I made friends. I don't want them to think I'm a weirdo with strict parents."

"Fine," Addison begrudgingly agreed as she handed over another twenty dollar bill.

"Thanks!" Adrianne grinned, "Maybe I wasn't giving you enough credit before. Maybe you're not too bad of a mom."

Addison smirked at her daughter, "You only say that because you just suckered me out of 40 bucks."

* * *

><p>Addison turned on her side in bed and reached for her cell phone to check the time. It was 3:07 am and that lurching in her stomach was back. This time she couldn't blame it on any funky aromas or food. She got out of bed and tiptoed to her closet where she located her purse with the light from her cell phone. She took out the small box and slowly made her way to the bathroom. This wasn't her first time using a home pregnancy test but she read the direction on the box five times any way, just to delay having to take the test. She had already put off taking it since she purchased it four days earlier but she valued every second she could put it off.<p>

After reading and rereading the directions and pacing the room until she could bring herself to pee on a stick, Addison sat on the edge of her bathtub and waited long passed the timer on her phone went off. She didn't want to look at the results and have her suspicions confirmed. She had always said their limit was two, three was not in the plans. Their marriage, though better, was far from ideal and bringing another child in the equation could become the straw to break the camel's back.

She knew that Derek would take it well enough. He loved children and he openly planned for three or four when he and Addison first married. Over the years she had talked him down to two children but she knew he wouldn't be against more. Her biggest fear was that another child would cause Derek to feel more obligated to stay with her. She did not want him to feel trapped because of her pregnancy. Then there was Adrianne; and Adrianne obviously would not take the news well.

"Addison?" Derek called from their room. "You okay?"

"I'm fine!" Addison called back quickly.

"Do you need help?"

"Peeing? No I don't need help peeing, thanks."

"You've been in there an awfully long time for just peeing. I am pretty sure you've got your head hovering over the toilet bowl and you need someone to hold your hair."

"No, no. I uh, I fell asleep," she explained lamely. "I'll be right out." She flushed the toilet to reinforce her story and turned on the sink to drown out any sounds she might make as she reached for the pregnancy test.

Two thin lines confirmed that she had a tiny embryo causing the sensitivity to smells, the exhaustion and the nausea. She let out an audible gasp as the fact registered in her mind. She quickly covered her mouth with her hand, cursing herself for not being able to control herself.

"Addie?!" Derek called out again. "What was that?"

"Jesus, Derek, give me a fucking minute!" Addison yelled in frustration as she shoved the used test back in the box then roughly threw the box in the back of the cabinet under the sink behind rows and rows of cleaning supplies and extra shampoo. She splashed cold water on her face hoping that would clear away all signs of concern and distress.

When she reached for the knob and opened the door she found her husband standing groggily on the other side.

"You okay?"

Addison nodded as she moved toward her bed. "I'm fine," she said as convincingly as she could. _Fine, _she repeated to herself. If "fine" meant that she felt like her life was imploding in front of her eyes than fine is exactly what she was.

* * *

><p>Plot twist! Didja see that coming? I tried not to make it too predictable but it was planned from the beginning.<p>

A review would be cool. Please?


	7. Chapter 7

"Addison?" Derek whispered in the middle of the night, "This is what, the sixth or seventh night that you stay awake and stare at the ceiling."

"I don't feel well," Addison replied softly.

"You haven't been feeling well for a while now. Maybe it is time to consider seeing a doctor. I know you don't have one in Seattle but we can find one. I don't think its just the flu or food poisoning at this point, Ad, that wouldn't have you feeling this terrible for so long."

"It is not the flu and it is not food poisoning."

"What is it?"

"I'm pregnant," Addison whispered.

Derek stopped breathing for a second, he reached for the light switch on his side of the bed and propped himself up on his elbows as he look at her, "You're pregnant?"

"About three weeks, I think," she said softly. "I can't sleep at night partly because I feel terrible and partly because I've lost control of my life and my family and I don't know what to do anymore."

"Why do you think you've lost control?"

"Because this was not in the plans for us! We never talked about having three kids. It was always two."

"We talked about it. You said you only wanted two so I comprised and agreed to go with you on this."

"Because you said you wanted four! That's not even realistic. How is a woman with my career going to manage four kids? Two is a reasonable number for women like me."

"I'm just saying that I was never against having more than two. And when you really think about it, we haven't been too careful lately so we can't say it was unexpected. Not planned, yes. Surprising, yes."

"You are awfully calm," Addison told him critically.

Derek shrugged, a goofy smile make its way on his face, "I'm kind of excited. I wouldn't mind having more. I come from a family with five kids. Three doesn't seem so unreasonable to me. How do you feel about it?"

"I'm not sure," Addison admitted. "I'm kind of excited, a new baby would be amazing. But that excitement is overshadowed by doubt and anxiety. I'm really nervous about this."

"What's there to be nervous about? You've done this two times before. For the next 8 months and 1 week you are going to take it easy, take it easy at work, try not to get overwhelmed at home so that our little baby can grow with no problems. Then you'll get an epidural and I'll hold your hand while you yell and we'll hold our baby. And it will be a gorgeous, perfect like human being as history has proven."

"I'm nervous about how I'm going to manage three kids. I can barely keep up with two. And Adrianne is just starting to get settled in here with us. That stability will be ruined the second she finds out about this."

"You don't know that. She seems drastically improved since she started school. I think the routine and the friends have really made her feel at home. She may be thrilled about getting a new sibling,"

"Derek, she may be a little less bratty and sarcastic with us but she can't be in the same space with Dylan without snapping at him over something. This morning when I was taking them to school she started yelling at him for breathing too loudly."

"He does breathe really loudly in the mornings lately…" Derek replied in his daughter's defense.

"He's a three and a half year old and his nose has been stuffy lately. It's cold season, that's not so unheard of and it is no reason to yell at him."

"Okay, fine, we'll just keep it between us for now."

"Derek, honey, I know you too well to buy that. You are going to call Kathleen first thing in the morning, because she's your favorite. Then you'll call your Mom. Kathleen will tell Nancy and Mom will tell Amy. Nancy will call Lizzie who will call me because she hates rumors and then everyone knows. And most importantly, Amy will call Adrianne to see how she feels about the whole thing and Adrianne will hear the news from your sister instead of hearing it from us. She'll freak out and then everything will be ruined."

Derek smirked, "You know me and my family too well."

* * *

><p>Addison walked in through the front door and kicked off her four and a half inch stilettos. She hung up her coat and placed her briefcase and purse on a table in the foyer holding up a vase of flowers. She walked through to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. It had been a long day and she hadn't had time to have a decent meal. She took out tupperware container filled with leftovers.<p>

"You're home!" Derek exclaimed as he came into the kitchen with Dylan on his hip. "I was just taking Dylan up for his bath when we heard the door."

Addison nodded, "What's this?" she asked as she opened the lid and scrunched up her nose while she tried not to gag. She quickly shut the lid and put the container back in the fridge.

"That was tonight's dinner. Baked salmon. It is wild caught and salmon is low in mercury so it is safe for you to eat. We had steamed broccoli with a homemade balsamic reduction and creamy mashed potatoes on the side. It was pretty great."

"It was good," Dylan agreed casually. "Not as good as pizza from the other day."

"The smell of seafood does not agree with me during this pregnancy. Do we have anything else?" She glanced over at her son after realizing what she had said and was relieved to see that he was too distracted with the toy car he was holding.

"I think there is a slice or two of pizza from a couple of nights ago."

Addison grinned as surveyed the fridge for the leftover pizza. Two nights earlier he and Derek had been too tired after work to worry about cooking so they had ordered a couple of pizzas for dinner. She had completely forgotten the small leftover slice from Dylan's kids' sized pizza and the two slices of veggie leftover from the second pizza they had ordered to split between the remaining three of them.

A grin formed on her face in satisfaction. It was really good pizza and she was excited to be having it again over Derek's salmon. She put the veggie slices into the convection oven and bit into the cheese without bothering to warm it.

"Adrianne wasn't fond of my dinner menu for tonight either. She didn't eat anything. She said she doesn't have an appetite. She asked me to tell you to go see her when you got home."

"Is she okay?" Addison asked in concern as she took out the other two slices of pizza from the oven and bit into one impatiently.

"She looked a little pale but she didn't mention anything else and I didn't notice anything."

"Okay," Addison mumbled. "I'll go see her as soon as I finish this slice."

"Hey," Addison started softly as she poked her head in the door. She let herself into the room and closed the door behind her. "I just got in from work and your dad tells me you're not feeling well and you skipped dinner because of it. He said you wanted to see me when I got in..." she trailed off, obviously doubting the truth of her last sentence. When her daughter didn't yell for her to leave the room Addison stepped closer to the teen lying curled up in bed. "Honey, you're trembling," she said softly as she placed her hand on her daughter's forehead. "...But you don't have a fever."

"You abandoned me for you career," Adrianne said flatly without turning to look at her mother. "Because you needed to become some sort of robot doctor who could do everything and anything."

"I uh," Addison was unsure of how to respond to the statement. "What? I wouldn't call myself a robot and I don't think I can do everything. I didn't abandon you, I made sure you were well taken care of and I dedicated every minute I had outside of work to you."

"Okay, whatever, that's not what I want to talk about," Adrianne replied, "What that was meant to come across as is that at one point your priority was being Dr. Shepherd over being Mom."

"Also untrue because you've always been my priority, and your brother after he was born. Whether you choose to believe that or not, its true."

"You're still missing my point! Right now I need you to see aside the idea that you're my mother and I need to discuss something with you as a doctor and I need you not to tell anyone. Doctor-patient confidentiality."

Addison looked at her daughter with her brow inclined at the strange request, "And this is not a conversation you'd have with me as your mother?"

"No."

"Okay," Addison nodded and pulled out the desk chair to take a seat.

Adrianne slowly turned over in her bed to face her mother, "I feel like my heart is pounding," she admitted. "That can't be normal, right?"

Addison got up from the rolling chair and walked to stand beside the bed, she tilted her daughter's head to one side and pressed two fingers against the carotid artery. "94," she announced, "Which is a little on the high side but not abnormal or concerning. Normal resting heart rate for your age is somewhere between 60 and 100."

"But I've never felt it like this," Adrianne insisted.

"I understand that, Adrianne, but it is nothing to worry about. Elevated heart rate could be because of stress, anxiety, fear and many other things. This transition hasn't been easy on you and it could cause a little panic every once in a while. Okay?"

Adrianne nodded, though still unconvinced, "Okay," she mumbled.

Addison easily recognized the doubt in her voice, "Honey, look at me."

The fourteen year old hesitated for a few seconds before she looked up to meet her mother's eyes.

Addison was just about to attempt to comfort her daughter when she noticed the wide pupils staring at her in the bright room. Her brows came together as the realization hit her. Loss of appetite, increased heart rate, dilated pupils, trembling, anxiety, asking for money and spending as much time outside the house as possible. She quickly pulled the blanket off of her daughter and grabbed her left arm, she pulled the pajama sleeve up and carefully inspected her skin.

"What are you doing?"

"You're not injecting it," Addison stated as a fact. "So you're snorting?"

"Excuse me?"

"The cocaine. You're right handed so you would inject into the left but here are no puncture sites so it means you're snorting it."

"Where did you get that from?"

"You're not denying it," Addison pointed out. "I toyed with the idea of a fellowship in Addiction after Amelia's battle. I quit after a week but I learned how to connect the signs and identify the substance to the symptoms."

"This was only the first time," Adrianne admitted shamefully, quickly looking away from her mother's eyes as she spoke. "And the high has been gone for a while but I feel terrible now."

"How much did you take?"

"I don't know. Not much, I don't think. Do you think it's an overdose?"

"No, I don't think so. I do think it could have been laced with something. Do you have any left so we can test it?"

"No, it wasn't mine. My friend had some. We both did a line of hers."

Addison's widened a little but she tried to remain calm and judgement free. She turned her back to the child and covered her face with her hands for a few seconds before starting to pace the length of the room.

"I'm sorry," Adrianne quickly apologized.

"This isn't the type of thing that goes away with an apology," Addison informed her daughter. "Were you planning on telling us at some point or were you going to let yourself slip down this path? And did you really think you could call me up here, tell me your symptoms and not get caught?"

"I was scared. I am scared. I've never felt like this before. I just needed to know what was going on with me and I was scare enough that I didn't care if you found out because I'm not planning on doing it again. Please don't tell anyone, doctor-patient confidentiality, remember? Grandma may actually, literally die if she found out."

"I'm not sure yet," Addison admitted. "I know that your father will blow things way out of proportion so I don't want to tell him but I don't know yet."

"Please don't," Adrianne begged. "Please? It won't happen again. I promise."

"Oh, I know it won't. That's because all the freedom you had is gone. Your cell phone and computer will be confiscated. You won't be going out with friends anymore. You won't even be able lock yourself in your room."

"But that's not..."

Addison cut her off to finish the sentence for her, "Fair? I don't think fairness was ever an issue. Would it have been fair for me to walk into my basically estranged daughter's room to find her dead due to an overdose or because of a laced batch of coke? Nope. So either this would end unfairly for me or for you and frankly, I'd rather it be unfair to you because that way you're still alive."

"It was just one time!"

"One time too many."

"Don't tell me you've never done drugs!"

"I smoke marijuana once and then I locked myself in a closet because it seems like a good place to hide. I peed on myself and I felt like my lungs were melting. Never did it again. And marijuana isn't anywhere near as dangerous as what you were doing."

"So if I had tried pot you wouldn't be this mad?"

"It wouldn't change anything. I was in my first semester of med school. Probably the first two or three weeks of school. I was weeks away from, 21. You are a 14 year old 9th grader. You can't choose to do anything yet. I make every decision in your life and from this point on I'm enforcing that. I'm not walking on eggshells anymore because you clearly don't know your boundaries."

Adrianne sighed heavily. She really hadn't expected a lecture. She expected yelling and door slamming but not a calm lecture.

"From now on your father or I will take you to school. We, or someone we choose, will pick you up. You will come to the hospital and volunteer for two hours after school. For the first two weeks I will have you placed as a volunteer in the substance abuse detox center so you can see the road you were on. Then you're gonna come volunteer for my departments. Deliver stuff to women in labor and help nurses with little things in the NICU. After those two hours you will go to my office to do homework and you will go home with us when we are ready to leave. You will be within 100 feet of me at any given moment. Are we clear?"

"Yes."

"Good," Addison smiled, "Glad we agree. Now go to sleep."

"I can't sleep,"

Addison smirked, "Oh, great! That's a side effect of cocaine. You can lie there and think about your choices all night."

* * *

><p>The following day Addison tried to make adjustments to her schedule to pick up her daughter from school. She was sure that it was doable until forty-five minutes prior to dismissal when she was called in for an emergency surgery. Addison's personal secretary ended up going to get her and Addison waited in the lobby to greet her as soon as she arrived.<p>

"Do we really have to do this? I already said that I wouldn't do it again," Adrianne begged as she unwillingly followed her mother to the elevator.

"Yes, Adrianne, we really have to do this. Unfortunately, your word is not enough. I need you to see addicts and understand the weight of the choices you were making."

"I hate hospitals," Adrianne reminded her mother.

"You'll learn to adjust," Addison told her firmly as she scanned her hospital ID to open a set of locked doors. She placed her hand on her daughter's upper back and guided her through the doors. They took a few steps to a small window where Addison greeted a nurse with a smile. "Hi, I'm Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd. I spoke to the charge nurse about having my daughter volunteer up here for a couple of weeks."

The man nodded, "Yes, Adrianne Shepherd?"

"Yes," Addison confirmed.

He held out a ID badge, "You'll have to take that down to HR to have your picture taken and printed on it but you can use that to get in and out before that. I can give you a tour now and we've got a list of assignments ready for you."

Adrianne looked at her mother before taking the badge from the man. "Are you staying with me for the tour?"

Addison nodded, "Yes, I can stay for the tour but then you're on your own, okay?"

Addison followed behind her daughter as the nurse showed them different rooms such as the detox center, the recreation room, the group therapy area and the private rooms. As they entered the detox center Addison was overwhelmed by the desperate pleas and moans of misery from numerous patients. She knew that her daughter must have been more overwhelmed but she was determined to stand her ground and teach the teen a lesson.

"Mom," Adrianne mumbled as she stepped out of the room. "Please don't make me do this. I can't do this."

"It is only two weeks and only two hours a day. You can do it, you'll learn. It will be hard but seeing these people will teach you a lot and I want you to learn through their mistakes so you'll never find yourself here as a patient."

* * *

><p>"I don't understand why we can't call her!" Adrianne said, clearly annoyed with her father and his lack of helpfulness.<p>

"She is in surgery, Addie. I understand that you need her. I am glad that you are starting to feel that you can depend on her but that doesn't make this situation any different. She in surgery and she can't have a private conversation, if you call her then you'll be on speaker and the whole OR team will be listening. If you're okay with that then you can call. If not you'll have to text her and wait for her to call you."

"It can't wait. Why is she always in surgery? I've only needed her two times in my whole life and both times she's in surgery!"

"Two times in one week, not your whole life," Derek corrected. "And what is it that can't wait?" He asked curiously.

"I need a pad or a tampon, okay? Unless you are gonna go buy me a pack I need to know where she keeps hers."

"Oh..." Derek mumbled. Growing up in a house full of women, the topic did not phase him. "Is that why you've been nagging me for the last twenty five minutes? Over a damn tampon? I grew up with four sisters and I've been in a relationship for about 15 years now, I've made more trips to drug stores for tampons and pads than I care to admit. I don't mind going to buy some for you."

"Ew, no!"

"Fine, go look in our bathroom. I'm sure she's got some somewhere. That whole bathroom is filled with lady crap. All I have in there is a shaver, a toothbrush and shampoo." Derek complained. "Open all the drawers and cabinets and you're bound to find something somewhere."

Adrianne stormed off in the direction of the stairs.

"Just please don't move anything! It is organized very specifically and she'll kill me if it gets messed up."

Adrianne ran up the stairs and barged into her parents' bedroom. She walked passed the perfectly made bed and the two walk-in closets to get to the en suite bathroom. She looked around, trying to figure out where her mother would keep feminine hygiene products. She decided the best place to start looking would be the cabinet under the sink. As soon as she opened it she found perfectly lined rows of extra shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste and various cleaning products. A box at the back of the cabinet caught her eye. Thinking that she had located a half empty box of tampons, Adrianne reached for the box. Once she pulled it out she realized it was a box for a pregnancy test and the stick was halfway sticking out with two lines displayed on the screen. A glance at the key on the box informed her that it was a positive reading and the box fell from her hands in shock. How old was the test and why did her mother choose to go against her obsessive organization habits and throw the box to the back of a cabinet and leave it there?

* * *

><p>After over two years I've found a way to use Addison's marijuana experience in a story. That's pretty exciting for me because that story really amused me.<br>Any other Addison tidbits from the show that you'd like to see in the story? I'm thinking of a Skippy Gold mention but that is pretty overdone and it hasn't come up yet.  
>Feedback is great appreciated. Thanks for all the reviews so far. Love reading them :)<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Addison kneeled in front of the toilet on both knees, her hands tightly grasping both sides of the porcelain as she violently retching into the bowl. Derek, who was still in bed, got up and ran to the bathroom. He squatted down beside her and instinctively reached to hold her long hair back but discovered it tied in a bun. Instead he gently rubbed soothing circles on her back.

"Would you like me to get you a bottle of water?"

Addison shook her head as she rose to her feet with his help, "No, I want to get back to bed. I've got a surgery scheduled first thing in the morning and I need to get some sleep. Almost 8 weeks down, about 32 more to go. I need all the sleep I can get in the next 32 weeks."

"I can try to find someone to cover for you,"

"No, this patient needs me. I can't send someone else," Addison responded as she moved toward the sink to brush her teeth, hoping it would get rid of the horrible acidy taste left in her mouth. She groaned when she realized their shared tube of toothpaste was empty and opened the cabinet under the sink for a new tube. Her eyes widened when she realized that her perfectly aligned rows were not as straight as she had left them. "Have you been in here?"

"No," Derek replied as he yawned. "Oh, Adrianne was looking for your girl stuff while you were at work. I told her to come look around and that she'd be bound to find it."

Addison retrieved a tube of toothpaste and a small, rectangular box. She put the tube on the counter and tossed the box at Derek before roughly shoving his bicep. "She found the box," she exclaimed angrily.

"Oh," Derek muttered as the idea sunk in. "We shouldn't have kept this from her. How do we recover from this now?"

"I don't know."

"It was your idea not to tell her," Derek pointed out.

"Yes, because I found out very early and I didn't think it was right telling people so early. Miscarriage stats are high in the first trimester and I'm 35, 36 in a few weeks, so my chances are slightly higher. I did not want to tell her and then have something happen. I didn't want to put her through that for no reason. She's already struggling to adjust and find her place. She tried cocaine, Derek. I don't want to push her to that again. The best thing for her was to keep this until we knew how everything will go."

"She did what?!" Derek's eyes widened.

"Just once," Addison quickly told him. "And I've already taken care of it. That's why she's been volunteering at work. She almost done in the substance abuse department. She's seen detox first hand every single day and I'm confident that she's learned her lesson. I've also made sure to monitor all of her social interactions at school to make sure she is not hanging out with the same group of friends as before. I've taken care of it. She's okay."

"Why am I just finding out about this? You just love keeping secrets, don't you?"

"She begged me not to tell and since she was doing so well, I wanted to honor her. I knew you'd be irrationally upset because of your memories of Amelia but this was not like that. I did not want to worry you."

"I knew Amy would have a terrible influence on her. I always hated how close they were. Nothing good comes from Amy."

"Amelia; she does not like being called Amy anymore," Addison corrected. "And she is your sister. Don't say that about her. She had been able to support our daughter when she had no one else. She had done a lot of Adrianne. Don't blame this on her. It is not a big deal, I have taken care of it already," Addison told her husband firmly.

Derek took a deep breath to calm himself. "You kept your pregnancy from me for days. You kept it from Adrianne for weeks. You've kept this a secret from me for weeks. This is not going to work if you keep hiding things from me and our family."

Addison met his eyes and nodded her head, "I know. I'm just trying to protect everyone. It's hard," she admitted. "It is hard to balance all of this."

"You're not supposed to do it alone. We are supposed to balance it together and we can't do that if you keep things from me."

"Don't confront Adrianne, please. She is doing remarkably well. She's doing better in school. She's starting to soften a little a home. I know that this pregnancy has already effected that progress, I don't want anything else to hinder it."

"I won't confront her. It is not like I want to hurt her, Addison."

"I won't keep anything else from you about Adrianne, Dylan or this little one," she said as she placed her hand over her lower abdomen.

* * *

><p>"Hi," Adrianne greeted the new mother lying in a hospital bed. As a volunteer she was asked to round on all of the post- delivery patients and offer water. It was her most hated part of being a volunteer. "Can I get you some water or something?"<p>

"I'm fine, thank you," the older woman replied. "What's your name?"

"Adrianne."

"Adrianne, has anyone ever told you…" the patient's thought was interrupted by Addison walking through the door pushing a plastic bassinet.

Adrianne observed her, taking in her hair tied up with a scrub cap over it. Her eyes darted to her mother's abdomen but the dark blue scrubs didn't allow for any possible changes in her body to be noticed. Maybe that's why she still hadn't changed, Adrianne thought. She usually changed back into her own clothes as soon as possible after surgery. Maybe now she was using the scrubs as a way to prolong letting others in on her pregnancy.

"Hey Valerie," Addison greeted the woman in bed and smiled at her daughter. She picked up the baby in the bassinet and handed him over to his mother. "He is doing very well. I ran an ultrasounds to check his diaphragm and it looks like the surgery worked as well as we hoped it would. You've got nothing to worry about."

"Thank you, Dr. Shepherd."

Addison smiled, "No problem. Have Adrianne page me if you have any questions or if something comes up, okay?"

"Speaking of," the patient said. "Before my son's surgery you said you have a teenaged daughter. Is Adrianne your daughter?"

Addison turned toward the teen and smiled before turning back to the patient, "She is."

"Right before you walked in I was going to tell her that she looks a lot like you. Now that you're here for comparison I think the more accurate statement would be that she looks exactly like you."

Addison laughed and nodded, "That's what everyone says."

"You tell your patients about me?" Adrianne asked without being able to restrain herself.

"I generally don't offer the information until I'm asked if I have children."

"I asked, I needed maternal advice," the woman admitted. "This is my first and I needed advice from another mother so I know what to expect."

"And when you're asked if you have children do you mention the secret fetus. Does everyone know about that except me?"

Addison froze for a second. She never imagined that her daughter would embarrass her like that in front of a patient. She knew that Adrianne would be upset over the news but never saw it expressed like this. In a moment of panic, she said the first thing that came to her mind, "It's not a fetus yet. It's still embryo." Stupid comment, Addison. Stupid.

"Ugh," the fourteen year old rolled her eyes and left the room.

"I'm sorry," she quickly expressed to the patient. "I'm very, very sorry. She takes teenage angst to a new level sometimes. I don't even know how to handle it at this point."

"No worries," the woman assured. "A new sibling at fourteen. That can't be easy for her."

"No, but she had no right to express it like she did."

"It's okay. I understand," the woman assured. "You should go talk to her though. It may help."

Addison nodded, "I'll be back to check on your later."

"Oh! Dr. Shepherd," the woman said as Addison neared the door, causing her stop and turn. "Congratulations on the pregnancy."

* * *

><p>"Adrianne," Addison called after her daughter as she followed her down the hall toward the elevator. "Adrianne, if you don't stop things will not end well for you."<p>

"What could you possibly do? You've already made me move to this hell hole, you've got me volunteering here against my will and you're pregnant. What else could you possibly do to make my life any worse?"

"Well, your father and I were planning on sending you to visit your grandmother over your spring break. I could easily cancel that."

Adrianne froze in her spot.

"Glad to have you attention," Addison commented. "Now you're going to turn around and go to my office and wait there. I need a minute to cool after and figure out what to do with you."

"You need a minute to cool off? I think I'm the one that needs a few minutes away from you. I am around you all the fricken' time now and it is painful to know that you kept that from me. I knew and I was waiting for you to tell me and you didn't. You avoided the problem just like you always do!"

"I was not ignoring it," Addison insisted. "And I agree, we both need a minute. Go in my office, take a few deep breaths and wait for me to get there."

Adrianne glared with a flash of annoyance in her eyes. She turned the opposite direction and headed toward her mother's office. Addison moved toward the nurses' station and placed her elbows on the counter while covering her face with her hands.

"Congratulations, Dr. Shepherd," one of the nurses told her with a smile.

Addison pulled her hands away from her face and blankly stared at the nurse, "What?" she asked.

"On the baby."

"You heard?"

"I was walking by the room."

Addison groaned and covered her face again, "I can't believe this is happening," she said to herself. After a few minutes she took a deep breath and moved toward her office to find her daughter pacing back and forth.

"One of the nurses heard. That means all of the nurses heard which means everyone will know by the end of the day."

"It's not like it could have been a secret. They would know eventually."

"Adrianne, I am barely 8 weeks pregnant. It is much too early for anyone to know. Miscarriages are very common in the first trimester and those chances increase for women 35 and over. I wanted to wait until there was less of risk before telling you. I did not want to tell you early and have something happen because then you'd be upset for no reason."

"Why are you even pregnant?! You said you weren't going to have anymore kids. You told me that before you moved out here!"

"I wasn't planning on having another one," Addison admitted. "But I'm sure Bizzy has told you that people plan and god laughs. It happened."

"It doesn't just happen!"

"No, you're right. It doesn't. Your father and I haven't been very careful lately."

"Oh, ew, please don't tell me what you've been doing with my father."

"I wasn't going to tell you. I just mean to say that while it was not planned, nothing was done to prevent it so we can't say it was unexpected. It was surprising and unplanned but we chose against protection so we both knew there was a slight chance it could happen."

"And you did it anyway,"

"We were doubtful that it would happen."

"And look where that got us."

"It hasn't gotten us anywhere. This doesn't change anything."

"How can you say that?" Adrianne yelled in frustration. "It changes everything! Everything. I was starting to feel comfortable, not happy but comfortable. I was learning to trust you."

"I realize that," Addison remarked softly. "But this won't change anything between us. You will always be our first. We've got this connection to you that you can never understand and it is not something we have with Dylan and we won't with this baby. There is just something different about the first."

"This won't be any different. Unplanned child in a rocky relationship. Deja vu."

"First of all, we were not rocky when I got pregnant with you. We were very new as a couple but it was not rocky."

"And you're very new as a couple now because you're different people now. He's not your Derek. He's not the Derek you met in New York and fell in love with. That salmon he made a few weeks back. He caught that, okay? Your Derek would go to Whole Foods and spend 50 bucks on pre-cut filets. This Derek caught it himself, degutted it, filleted it and then cooked it. Next thing you know he'll be shooting our Thanksgiving Turkey. He's like a woodsman. You don't know that Derek. You are trying to know that Derek."

Addison remained silent, unsure of how to address the fact that her daughter was very right.

"It is the same thing all over again. Except this time you're better prepared for the responsibilities that come with having a child. You're going to have time for him or her. You're going to make time for him or her and bond. He or she will grow up loving you and trusting you and I'll be the odd one out. I'm hoping for a boy. If it is a girl then the irony would be too much for me."

"Adrianne, you could never be the odd one out," Addison said softly. "It is hard to explain but parents rarely love one child more than another. Love is not finite. It's not like we're be limited on the supply and you'd get less because it would be split three ways rather than two. We will always love you because you're our child. It doesn't matter that your childhood did not go as well as Dylan's is or as well as this baby's might. It doesn't matter that you hate being around us. I know it is hard to understand and accept it but this baby won't change anything between us."

Adrianne did no acknowledge her daughter's statement. She kept her eyes on her shoes to avoid her mother's gaze.

"I also need you to know that what you did today was very unprofessional. I am the head of this department and I cannot be a part of drama like that, especially not in front of my patients. And your behavior reflects back on me and your father; your behavior jeopardizes the respect our colleagues have for us and it questions our authority. Do you understand that?"

"Yes," Adrianne mumbled under her breath.

"Good. Now I need you to go apologize to my patient. Apologize profusely."

"Okay,"

"And, Adrianne, make sure that never happens again."

* * *

><p>"Ew, I can't believe she's pregnant again. 15 years later and I still can't believe Addison lets that weirdo touch her."<p>

Adrianne could practically hear her aunt cringing over the phone. "No visuals, please. These are my parents we're talking about."

"Oh, sweetheart. You don't know anything about visuals when it comes to those two," Amelia muttered. "They are terrible people who don't know how to lock doors."

"You're telling me? I know they're terrible people. She's pregnant?! How could she do this?"

"I don't think this is a bad thing, Adrianne. Hey- look at me; I'm an accident. If that didn't happen I wouldn't be here right now. Can you imagine life without your favorite aunt?"

"Why bring Lizzie into the conversation?" Adrianne asked flatly although there was a huge, amused smile on her face as she awaited her aunt's reaction.

"What? Lizzie! Lizzie is your favorite? Liz is no one's favorite!"

"I'm kidding, you're my favorite but Lizzie's cool too. She's number two. And as much as I appreciate your existence, can you say you made things any better for your family? More financial burden."

"Your mother is an heiress and your parents are high profile surgeons. You don't even know what financial burden means. I've heard rumors that you have a roll of 20s instead of toilet paper," Amelia replied sarcastically. "You won't be in any financial trouble with another baby."

"I was talking about you and your family. You guys barely made ends meet after you were born. Then your dad died and you were even worse off. And your drug addiction nearly ruined the whole family. So really you've caused more problems than anything."

"Gee, thanks niece." Amelia grumbled with as much sarcasm as she could muster. "Speaking of drugs, your mother told me she caught you with coke."

"Oh, god! She's telling people?"

"No, just called to ask for my advice. She didn't want to punish you too harshly but needed you to understand what you were doing. She wanted to get an insider's opinion before sentencing your for your crime. See what I did there?"

"It was only one time!"

"And it better stay that way, you hear me?" Amelia told her firmly, dropping her light, friendly attitude and the humorous responses. "I don't want to hear that it has developed into anything more. I will kill you if you allow yourself to head down that path. You've seen where that can lead you."

"I know."

"And I know that news like this may make you want to do something stupid like using again or trying something new. Don't you dare listen to that instinct. If you feel like its consuming you alive and you need the out, you can call me or your grandmothers or a teen advice hotline. Just don't do anything stupid."

"Okay," Adrianne promised. "Thanks for the advice, Amy."

"Anytime kid," Amelia replied. "I need to get back to studying. I'll call you soon to check on you, okay?"

"Are you snooping on our daughter?" Derek asked when he caught his wife standing outside her bedroom door in the middle of the night.

"She was on the phone and I wanted to know who she was talking to."

"And we're you able to find out?"

"I think it was Amy but it could have been Nancy. I'm leaning more toward Amy though," she whispered as she stepped away from the door and moved toward her own bedroom with Derek behind her. "She told her about the pregnancy."

"Oh good, the endless phone calls will be starting soon," Derek muttered dreadfully.

"I don't think so. Amy wouldn't tell anyone. She knows that Adrianne trusts her and she wouldn't jeopardize that," Addison replied. "And I didn't want people knowing yet but I'm glad that she is talking to some about it. I'd rather have her talking about it than keeping it in until it drives her crazy and she does something stupid."

"I've been keeping a close eye on her. She's doing well in school. The volunteering is going well. I haven't noticed any signs of using."

Addison nodded, "I've been keeping track too. I'm in touch with her teachers so they can let me know if they notice anything at school. I try to keep track of her at the hospital. She's miserable but she is doing well in every other sense. I told her that if she continues on this track that we'd send to Connecticut for Spring Break. She really misses your mom and your sister, her friends, my parents. I might be good for her to see everyone again. I don't want her to feel like she's lost those ties."

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Addie? She's starting to adjust. Wouldn't this take her back where we started?"

Addison shrugged with no definitive answer. "I don't know," she admitted softly. "I hope not but I don't know. I just know that we promised that she's be able to go visit once in a while and we haven't arranged that yet. I want her to know that we mean what we say so we need to hold up our end of the bargain."

Derek nodded, "You're right, I guess. It just worries me."

"Doesn't everything worry you when it comes to our kids?"

"Almost everything, yes," Derek agreed. "But I worry about Adrianne more than I worry about Dylan or the baby."

* * *

><p>Hope you liked the update. It is not my favorite chapter but I don't think it is my least favorite either. But my opinion of it doesn't count nearly as much as yours. Let me know what you think of it :)<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

Adrianne opened her eyes and glanced around the room. A smile grew on her face as she recognized her surroundings to be her bedroom at her grandmother's house in Connecticut. She got out of bed and brushed her teeth but didn't bother with anything else. With her hair in a messy bun and her pajamas, she ran down the stairs only to be met with a smell of homemade cinnamon rolls in the over.

"With cream cheese icing?"

"Of course," Carolyn responded with a chuckle. "What good is a cinnamon roll without the icing?"

Adrianne grinned as she took a seat at the kitchen island. She stuck her finger into the mixing bowl and licked off a bit of frosting, "I should be fat with the way you fed me for most of my life."

"You can thank your mother for that. That's a Montgomery trait. Actually, it might be a Forbes trait, I don't know who passed that gene down to her but I do know that she passed it on to you. She's got the metabolism of an teenage boy. Eats all she wants and doesn't gain an ounce. We gain the weight instantaneously."

"She's gaining weight now, very,very slowly but still... Oh, but she's pregnant. I wonder how she would look if she was fat…I think she'd be a lot less attractive with a double chin and a flabby, jiggling belly."

"She's pregnant?! Really? Again? She always said she wouldn't have more than two."

"Yup. 16 weeks now. They may be able to find out the sex this week, if it shows. If not we have to wait until the 18th week. She says it's usually obvious by 18 weeks."

"You sound excited."

"Nah, just want to know what it is. I hope it's not a girl. Then she'd be perfect and everything and I'd be the messed up one."

"You would not. Your parents would not love you any differently," Carolyn assured. "And don't count on seeing your mother gain weight just because she's pregnant. She's the type that's all belly. Look at her from behind and you'd never know."

Adrianne rolled her eyes, "Ugh, that's disgusting. And she's an OB. I'd fire her as my doctor if she was an attractive pregnant woman while I look like a beached whale. I'm meeting Bizzy tomorrow. I need to ask if she's even human. Sometimes I have my doubts. Humans can't look like that all the time."

Carolyn laughed at the comment, "Don't make too much fun of her because you look like her clone. People could say the same could be said about you."

"I hate when people tell me I look like her and everyone mentions it constantly."

"Because its true and it shocks people to see a child look like their mother's carbon copy. There is usually some trace of the other parents somewhere and with you it's just not there. Aside from people pointing out your similarities, how are you liking Seattle?" Carolyn asked as she pulled out the tray of cinnamon rolls from the oven and set them on the counter to cool.

"I hate it," Adrianne admitted to her grandmother. "I've forced myself to adjust but it is terrible. I go to school, volunteer at the hospital, go home and start over."

"No friends yet? It'll be better once you make friends. You'll go to movies, bowling, skating, dinner...all the stuff you did here."

"I'm not allowed to have friends."

"You're not allowed to have friends?" Carolyn's brows came together in confusion at the statement. "That is a strange rule. Must be your mother's doing. Your father would not enforce that."

"It was her idea but he's enforcing it. His solution to the problem would probably be to take me out from school, quit his job and home school me so I never leave his line of vision."

"Why would they want to keep you from making friends? They're both doctors, they've taken many psychology classes. They know that making attachments to friends is a healthy and necessary."

"They took that right away after I got caught coming off a cocaine high…" Adrianne trailed off quietly. "I'm not allowed to go out with friends until I can earn back their trust. They want to keep me from hanging out with that crowd"

Carolyn stared at her daughter with her jaw practically on the floor.

"It was only one time!"

"It starts with one time. It becomes two then before you know it you've got a cocaine habit on your hands and you don't know how to control it. Your life spirals out of control so fast that you don't even know what happened."

"It was one time."

"I can't believe you could do that, Adrianne. Looks like Addison is a better mother than I gave her credit for. If it had been me who caught you I would have killed you on the spot. If all she did is take away your social privileges then you should thank your lucky stars."

"It's a stupid punishment. Yeah, I'm around them all the time after school but they can't see what I do when I'm in school. If I wanted drugs I could get it from those people during school hours when they're not watching."

"And why would you do that, Adrianne?"

"I wouldn't! I'm just saying if I wanted to, I could and their preventative measure wouldn't be able to stop me."

"I think they are trusting you to make your own choice and use your judgement during the few hours when they are not around to do it for you."

Adrianne nodded, "I guess…"

"I would have killed you," Carolyn repeated. "You saw what happened to Amy. Why choose the same path?"

"It was only once! I didn't get addicted. I wasn't on any path."

"Only once because you got caught and your parents took action. Do you ever ask yourself what could have happened if Addi- if you mother didn't catch you? Where would you end up?"

"I would have stopped on my own after that time. It was a bad experience."

"Adrianne, I'm a Navy nurse with 25 years experience. I've raised five kids, one of whom is an addict. I know about drug addiction. I've learned a lot over the years. As a mother and a health care professional I know that very few people can stop once they start. Maybe you should stop complaining about your parents and start appreciating what they're trying to accomplish with you."

* * *

><p>"Dr. Shepherd," a nurse called for his attention as he walked passed the nursing station with his focus directed to his cell phone. "You've got a phone call on line 2. This is her third time calling for you. We tried for your wife too but she's in surgery and didn't want to take a personal call on speaker."<p>

"Who is?" Derek asked curiously.

"I don't know. She only said that she was not a patient and that this was a personal call."

"It's probably one of my sisters," he sighed. They must have found out about the pregnancy, Derek assumed. "Okay, I'm on my way to my office. I'll pick it up when I get there."

"Derek Shepherd," Derek spoke into the phone as soon as he sat behind his desk.

"Derek! It would be nice if you called your mother once in a while. Or at least make time to answer the phone when I call you."

"I'm making time right now, Mom," Derek pointed out. "You're not calling about Addie, are you? She's okay?"

"You know that she hates it when you call her Addie, Derek," his mother reminded him disapprovingly. "I still don't understand why you would give her your wife's middle name, especially considering that the nickname would be the same for both of them."

"Because I've always liked the name Adrianne. I thought that would be a good name for the baby even before I knew that was Addison's middle name. It is feminine and sweet. Doesn't sound too stuffy for a child. But it is also classic and professional so it would work for her as an adult. I just get too lazy to say the whole thing sometimes."

"I hope you don't give this baby a name that shortens to Addie," Carolyn casually told her son.

"You know about the baby?"

"Adrianne mentioned it. 16 weeks, I hear. Well into the second trimester and you haven't bothered to pick up a phone to tell your mother."

"We haven't told Addison's parents either," Derek responded in his defense. "It's just that things are complicated and we haven't really thought about how we would tell the family."

"I understand that, Derek, but you moved across the country and you rarely communicate. That's hard for me. It hurts knowing that my son has so much going on that I know nothing about."

"I'm sorry, Mom. It's just really hard to keep up. We are both working and trying to keep up with two kids. We are very involved in Adrianne's life, one or the other is near her at all times. We've got Dylan who requires lots of time and energy. By the time all that is done the last thing I want is to pick up a phone and reiterate the day's happenings to someone. I fall asleep on the first flat surface I come across."

"Derek, if that's how your life is with two kids then how will you manage with three? Two of whom will be under five."

"I don't know," Derek admitted. "Addison and I wonder all the time but I'm sure we will find a way. We may hire part time child care but we don't want our children to be raised by nannies. We'll just have to figure out how to plan our surgeries accordingly so we can have enough time with all of them. I know that it doesn't sound ideal and it won't be easy but Addison and I are both very excited."

"That's good. All that matters is that you're happy."

"I am," Derek confirmed. "We found out this morning that we're having a girl. Adrianne was hoping for a boy but I'm thrilled. I wanted another little girl."

"A girl?" his mother asked. "Congratulations. That's great."

"Just don't tell Adrianne. Addison says she's a little sensitive about it, she was hoping for a boy because she thinks a girl would replace her. We need to think about how we could tell her to help her understand that we won't love her any less because of this."

"I won't tell her," Carolyn promised. "But, Derek, the longer you keep it from her the more you're hurting her."

* * *

><p>"I have chosen a nickname for the baby," Derek announced to his wife as he stormed into her office with a triumphant grin on his face. Derek placed a bottle of cold water in front of her on the desk, "Remember when you were pregnant with Dylan and you got so busy that you didn't stop for fluids and then the dehydration caused cramping and we both thought you were miscarrying? Yeah, let's not have that happen again. Drink it," he ordered. "Anyway, it came to me during my surgery and I've been so excited to share it with you that I came here before going to see the family."<p>

"I think seeing your patient's family is more important than the baby's nickname, Derek. Go talk to them. You can tell me your nickname idea later," she responded as she twisted the cap off the bottle of water for a sip.

"I already saw them already. I came straight here but you were not here. I spoke to the family and then updated the board and came back to see if you were back and here you are."

"Here I am," Addison responded as she reached for the stethoscope lying on top of a pile of charts. She hung it around her neck and rolled back the chair from her desk. "But I need to get going in a few minutes so speak fast."

"Princess," Derek suggested with a wide smile. "Perfect, right?"

"A bit cliche, no?" Addison answered with a slight disapproving frown.

"But I have a reason," he insisted, blocking Addison's exit so he could tell his story. "On numerous occasions I have called you the queen of Passive-Aggresiva. If you're a queen then the baby would be a princess."

"And that would make you the king of passive-agressiva."

Derek shrugged, "The king or the duke, yes. You're royalty by blood, the crown of passive-agressiva has been in your family for as long as history goes back. And I am royal by marriage. But very deserving of the title, of course. I was a loyal townsman of Passive-Aggressiva long before I was given the title."

Addison laughed at Derek's choice of wording, "You certainly were," she agreed. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a laboring mom that needs to be checked on."

"So we can call her princess?" Derek asked hopefully.

"You can call her princess," Addison agreed. "I really have to go see my patient, Derek."

"Okay," Derek smiled and stepped away from the door. "Have a good day, your highness."

* * *

><p>"Mommy," Dylan started as she walked through the door, "When is Addie coming back? I miss her?"<p>

Addison was lying on the couch with the TV on in the background, a half-read book open and face down on the coffee table and a medical journal in her hand. She was attempting to multitask to enjoy as much as she could on her day off. "Don't call her Addie, buddy. I makes her angry," Addison told her son.

"But her name is too long!"

"I know but we shouldn't make her angry by using a nickname she doesn't like," Addison explained to the little boy as she sat up on the couch and patted beside her for the little boy to join her. "She is coming back in two days. Well, not even two days. She won't be home tomorrow but she'll be here around noon the day after. We can pick her up from the airport. You like airports, right?"

Dylan nodded his head, "I like planes. They're fun. I can't wait to go on one again," he told his mother excitedly. "Mommy, is she going to be mad again? She didn't like coming here the first time."

"I'm not sure," Addison admitted. "But it is nothing for you to worry about. Daddy and I will figure it out."

"Okay," Dylan bounced up from his seat beside his mother.

"Dylan, is your play room a big mess?"

The little boy hesitated for a few seconds before saying, "Uh, no."

"So if I come check it out I won't find toys all over the place?"

"Maybe some…"

"Okay, well why don't you go clean that up while I start getting ready. When you're done we'll get you dressed and head out."

"Where are we going?"

"We are going to pick up Daddy from work and we're going to take you to the Merry Go Round by the Space Needle."

"Really?!" Dylan asked in excited. "Can I run through the big fountain?"

"No, you cannot run through it. Maybe we can have lunch somewhere there and hang out by the fountain but no running through it."

An hour later the three of them were at the Seattle Center. Dylan had gone on the Merry Go Round three consecutive times and once the dizziness set in, he choose to opt out of a fourth ride.

"Did you have fun?" Derek asked the little boy during lunch afterward.

Dylan excitedly nodded his head, "Maybe we can come back with your sister later on."

"I don't think she would like the ride but we can bring her to the Space Needle and I'll go on the Merry Go Round. But only two times, three is too many."

"Honey, he's not talking about Adrianne."

Dylan's brows came together in confusion. "I don't gots another sister."

"No, not yet," Derek elaborated. "But you will have another sister in a few months."

"How come?" Dylan asked unsurely.

"Because Mommy is going to have another baby."

"Then why can't we just get the baby now if you know you want it? Why do we gots to wait?"

"We have to wait for the baby to grow and become strong. Right now the baby is a little smaller than a lemon. It's about this big," Derek explained, holding his fingers about three inches apart.

"That's little! Was I that little?"

"You were," Addison confirmed. "And look how big you are now."

Dylan nodded, the information slowly starting to make sense in his mind. "Where is the baby growing?"

"In Mommy's belly. She will be born a few weeks before your birthday around the end of August. "

"Mommy ate the baby?!" Dylan looked at his mother with wide, horrified eyes.

"No! No, I did not eat the baby. That's where baby's start developing," she explained, turning to Derek for help with a better explanation.

"Nope, don't look at me, Dr. Shepherd. You're the expert on the subject," he replied jokingly.

"How does the baby get in there?" Dylan pressed on, looking at his father for an answer. Until he got a better explanation he decided to avoid his mother. Baby eaters couldn't be trusted, he decided.

"Um," Derek looked at Addison for an answer. When she shrugged at him Derek looked at the three year old and said, "Well, mommies have something called eggs and daddies has something else called sperm. And when you put a sperm and an egg together it makes a baby."

"So you gave mommy some of that stuff?"

"Yeah."

"But how did it get in her tummy? Did she eat it?"

"Oh, my god…" Addison trailed off, covering her red face with both hands. She could not believe her husband had chosen to give their three year old about how conception works.

"No, no that's not really how it works," Derek took a second to think. "It is kind of like a shot. It is kind of injected around her egg and that's how it gets in there."

"I've never been so glad to have our daughter across the country," Addison murmured, hands still covering her face. "I'd die if she was here for this conversation."

"Oh!" Dylan exclaimed in understanding. He turned to his mother and very seriously said, "I'm glad you didn't eat the baby, Mommy."

* * *

><p>Two days later Derek, Addison and Dylan picked up Adrianne from the airport. All three of them had had their fingers crossed all day that Adrianne's trip wouldn't cause them to take two steps back as a family and start over.<p>

"Adrianne," Addison spoke softly as she knocked on her daughter's bedroom door. The door was cracked open so without waiting for a response, Addison stepped inside. She found her daughter sitting on the floor with a suitcase lying open in front of her. "Do you need help unpacking, honey?"

"No, I'll do it. Most of it is laundry anyway and that's your department. The one time I tried to do my own laundry I shrunk my favorite sweater."

"It's okay, you'll learn when you're older. I didn't start doing laundry until I went to college and I ruined most of my clothes during the first month. Shrunken sweaters, bleached colors, washed whites with a red shirt," she admitted with a chuckle. "What are you looking at?" she asked, glancing over Adrianne's shoulder to see into the photo album in her hand.

"Pictures from when I was little. I brought it from grandmas."

Addison smiled as she knelt down beside her daughter to observe the picture. "You were about Dylan's age there. We took that picture on our honeymoon. You had a really good time during that trip."

"Who takes their child with them on a honeymoon?"

Addison shrugged, "Well they should start. We had a lot of fun. I don't think we've ever had a vacation that good after that. Maybe we can attempt it again after this baby is born. If she's anything like you then it will be a great trip."

"She?"

"Yes," Addison confirmed softly. "We found out while you were in Connecticut and we wanted to tell you in person. It's a girl."

"Oh," Adrianne mumbled in disappointment.

"Honey, things would not be any different if it was a boy. We wouldn't love you any more or less, we wouldn't love the baby any differently. It wouldn't matter."

"But you were only 16 weeks when you went. You said sometimes it's not definitive at 16 weeks and that by 18 to 20 weeks it is more reliable."

"Yes, but it is not like a penis would magically appear between 18 to 20 weeks. If there is doubt, which this isn't in my case, then it is confirmed around that time. But with me my doctor and I are both positive it is a girl. Between the two of us we've seen so many ultrasounds that there is no margin of error."

Adrianne nodded her head understandingly.

"It doesn't change anything," Addison repeated to remind her daughter. She pushed herself up to stand upright then she walked over to the desk chair in her daughter's room and took a seat. "Did you have a good trip?"

"Mhmm."

"Did you see everyone you wanted to see?"

"Mhmm."

"Adrianne?" Addison asked softly, "Are you okay, honey?"

"I'm fine," Adrianne insisted. "Can you just leave me alone for a while?"

Addison gave her daughter a skeptical look. She did not feel safe leaving Adrianne after having delivered dreaded news. She did not want her daughter engaging in any high-risk behavior and she did not want her turning to the wrong people in her time of need.

"Please, Mom?"

"Okay," Addison mumbled begrudgingly. She knew it would be best to give her daughter the space she needed to come to terms with the news but it didn't make her worry any less. "But you have to keep the door half open, okay? I want to be able to see you when I walk by."

"It's not like I have coke on hand to snort up on bad days," Adrianne assured her mother.

"Leave the door half open," Addison repeated firmly.

"Okay," Adrianne snapped in response as she got up from the ground to shut the door behind her mother.

"Half way, Adrianne," Addison called behind her as she left the room.

Adrianne rolled her eyes, closing the door more than halfway. She sat on her bed with her cell phone in her hands. It ran through her mind to call a so-called friend from Seattle, to get away for one night. She wasn't sure if that would lead to drugs or alcohol. She wasn't sure who she would meet or where she would go and she knew it would not solve any of her problems but all that mattered was that she would be able to get away.

As she scrolled through her contacts he mind flashed to the dozens of people she witnessed detoxing after substance abuse. Her mind flashed to the numerous teens that became patients in the hospital's maternity wing during her weeks as a volunteer. Then she remembered the most shocking day of her volunteer experience, the day she witnessed a young woman just a few years older than her come into the ER after a brutal attack and rape. She later learned that that patient was a college freshman who was at a bar with a fake ID. She had been drugged into unconsciousness, raped then beaten with the intention of fatality. A friend had found her just in time to get her the help needed to save her life. Adrianne realized that she didn't have any friends that would do the same for her, at least not in Seattle. If something happened to her, whether it would be a laced batch of drugs or a drink spiked with a date rape drug, her friends would leave her and run to avoid trouble.

Adrianne closed her contacts list and set her phone aside, decided that she would not allow herself to start on a path that could possible spiral downward.

"Adrianne," Dylan interrupted as quietly as he could. "Are you okay?" he asked when he noticed his sister sitting on her bed with a frown.

"What do you want?" she asked with a sniffle.

Dylan held out a piece of construction paper for his sister to see, "I made a drawing for Mommy. That's me, and that's you, and that's Mommy and Daddy," Dylan explained, pointing out each stick figure as he went. "And that thing that Mommy's holding? I know it looks like a stick but it's supposed to be our baby sister. I don't know how to draw a baby with a blanket."

"Why are you showing me this?"

"I need you to help me write everyone's names," Dylan explained as he held out his crayon to her. "I know I'm not 'posed to come in your room but I want to surprise Mommy so I had ta."

Adrianne looked up from the picture (or the mess of random scribbles and lines that only someone under 4 would be capable of) and met his eyes. She was identical to their mother and her brother was very much like their father, all expect the eyes. He had her eyes, or their mother's to be most accurate. Seeing him looking at her with those eyes made her heart start pounding. Was he judging her? Did he know what she was thinking of doing? Was she just projecting her fear of disappointing her mother onto her little brother?

"Dylan," she started, handing over the crayon and the paper, "Get out."

"But you didn't finish," he insisted, point to the stick figure infant in his stick figure mother's arms. "You gotta write baby with an arrow pointing at her so Mommy knows that she's a baby and not a stick."

"She'll figure it out," Adrianne replied impatiently as she got up from her bed and nudged her brother toward the door.

She paced back and forth, her eyes darting to her cell phone every once in a while. She kept telling herself to avoid the thought, that her "friends" couldn't do anything to help her but that didn't stop her from gravitating toward her phone every once in a while. Finally she picked up her cell phone, shut it off and threw it in the back of her closet behind rows and rows of shoe boxes. She closed her closet door and went back to sit on her bed.

"Adrianne?" she heard her father call from down the hall. She could hear his footsteps coming near. "Your mom mentioned that you might be a little upset or overwhelmed but she said you were okay. What's with the stomping and slamming?"

"I didn't realize I'm stomping," Adrianne admitted. "And the slamming was an accident. It was my closet door. I was unpacking," she lied.

"Oh, okay," Derek nodded before taking a step backward out of the room. He paused for a second and poked his head back in, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm trying," she mumbled under her breath. "I'm trying to be okay."

* * *

><p>How did you like the longest chapter of the story? Without AN it stands at 4,767 words. If you're wondering what my favorite part was, it's when Dylan was worried that his mother would think the baby in his picture was a stick. Inspired by my little cousin who is the same age as the fictional Dylan. I base most of Dylan's wording on the way that little guy talks and thinks. I'm very amused by the things he comes up.

On another note, thanks for all the reviews, favorites, and alerts. So glad you guys are liking this story.


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